Phew what a topic to discus.
It’s everywhere, dating has completely changed – blah blah. And I can definitely stand behind the statement. But I don’t usually push the subject or complain, because dating is what it is AND men are going to be men, as will women.
So here I am dealing with it. OR not so much. I am taking baby steps, because I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for dating someone new right now.
Small background of my dating life. *LOL* I was in a relationship for the past five years, well if I’m being honest -in and mostly out. But anywho that was the majority of my 20’s. And now I’m out of the college lifestyle -where going to classes and meeting new people and all that fun stuff. So to say less, I’m not in forced social settings now. Not that I missed out on meeting new people BUT now that I’m back “in” the dating scene, I don’t have as easy of chance to meet new people. I have to actively get out and about, and be open and vocal when I am out so. To be honest my chances are slim, because I am a introvert and super shy around people I don’t know. Let’s just say even if I find a guy super attractive, 9 times out of 10 I won’t even say Hi. BUT that’s just me and I am perfectly okay with it. Lately though, alot of my friends have really been bugging me to get out there, look at the options. So here we are.
“… because I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for dating someone new right now. “
Hear me out… I’m not all about online dating especially all these “dating” apps. But I have ventured out a little and am currently testing some. I still strongly have this place in my heart where I want to meet “my future husband” the old fashion way. In person – like a grocery store, or at the mall, or anywhere in public. But with me being me, chances are I would never say hello to anyone and the dudes that do say something to me, it’s probably cause they are looking a little too much. Which isn’t what I want so — to the apps I go. *eye roll*
If you are like me, you had no idea this app was even a thing. Well, I was introduced to this app by my friend from California. She hasn’t had a ton of luck, but she has had plenty of fun looking. And her stories are just as good as mine. LOL So *shrugs* Okay I really only tested it for a few weeks. And I could not count the amount of times I swiped left. like…… No, no, no, no, no, no…. and more no. It may just be me; but like I hard core judge off appearance, cause being honest, how else are you to swipe right if they aren’t cute… like pictures are all the app really is and half the time the “intros” these dudes put are just so obnoxious, I don’t waste my time reading them. And maybe Manhattan has some ugly dudes or maybe I am just super picky – Either way lol I finally got to a point where I had no idea why I was even on this app. Okay let me back up… There were a crap ton of pretty, pretty white boys.. like cute frat boys. But I’m not into frat boys, just something about their demeanor, it is not the move. I don’t want an arrogant or cocky man… no thanks. I do want an attractive man BUT not a super sexy man that E.V.E.R.Y. single women that sees him, can’t stop herself from wanting to say hello, or can’t keep her hands off him. Like eh, no. I want my man to be mine, without all the competition. Any who back to Bumble – so I finally decided there were some cute-ish guys so I decided swipe right.
Bloop… here’s the catch of this app. The app is like women based – because Women have to make the first move. If you match with someone, the girl has 24 hours to message them or your match goes away.. Like what kind of shit is that? haha (sorry excuse my language) So then the app will remind you – “you have 4 hours before your match is gone…. forever.” ummm okay, it’s not that serious. But I decided to give in and and message first.. so I said hello. AND THIS DUDE, *eye rolls* replies at like 1am with a gif. And the gif………. is a dude screaming underwater. Like he said nothing else just sent the gif. WHAT???? This could just be me, being dramatic but that was like may last straw. I deleted the app. DONE.
incase you need a image.
Now, if I have to give positive feedback about it. They have a great idea – allowing the girls to put themselves out there and really start a relationship off the right way. Also they have different versions that you can change the app too. There is “Bumble bff” where you can find girlfriends that have the same interests as you and you can make new friends. Which is super cool – like if you moved to a whole different city and didn’t know anyone – this would be an easy way to meet up with someone for coffee, make new friends easier lol.
Honestly this app has potential to make me a strong independent women, go out and make the first move. I’d rather be a strong, independent women WITHOUT making the first move. LOL Cause I’m already putting myself out there – that’s expecting alot more from me. Like yes I am a bad bitch but nope, I still won’t make the first move. Y’all men still need to do all that extra stuff to get ME to fall in-love lol.
Moving on. So after I deleted Bumble, I was pretty much on the mindset that, I put enough effort out there and that was just way too much for me. I kind of had this stigma that Tinder was just setting me up for all these thirsty ass college dudes just looking to have a one night hook up. And I just really wasn’t in the stage where I even wanted to waste time entertaining these type of boys. Once again one of my close friends told me over dinner, that yes there are quite a few of those boys on tinder that are thirsty but if you just ignore all those messages – you will find a few cute, nice, genuine guys that will take you out and get to know you. So again – I was talked into getting a profile started. And her luck is just rolling in because she has already went on 8 dates and has 2 more planned.
Good news for tinder verses Bumble – is so far regardless of every 100 + boys I swipe left on, there is about 2 that are sexy enough to swipe right. haha. Downfall of this, these men are F.I.N.E. so like if they ever were potential boyfriends, well, there would be plenty other women drooling over him. And trust me – I don’t want all that. I had myself a sexy little dude and he had way too many little followers crushin’ and it’s just alot. So yes I do want a fine man but maybe if he is only fine to me. Is there a happy medium for fine men?? I feel like there isn’t BUT a girl can dream.
I have also decided through this experience that I suck at dating. And would rather skip over this step but I do want to get married and have a family and all the lovey dovey stuff. I suppose I’ll stay in the dating scene since I still dream of having it all. LOL And good luck to y’all with your dating!
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