A never ending cycle.

And my life continues……

I know most of my blogs have been on this whole “men aint shit” type of vibe. But literally it is just a trend in my life, I swear. Like everywhere I turn some dude is approaching me, and I’m not trying to block my blessing  or anything but  then boom. God is like watch out for the Devil. Like okaaaaaaaaay. I get it. But sheesh they are comin’ in thick lately.

So there was this guy, he apparently found me on tinder. However he messaged me on Instagram like “Hey pretty girl, how are you. Super random lol but i actually bumped into you on tinder but I’m neeeeeever on.” Ok. so first of all I had never seen his face nor his name. And his name was unique enough that I would remember swiping past it. So I was most definitely caught off guard because my insta is NOT connected to my tinder, actually nothing is connected to my tinder profile. I didn’t want people snooping around all my other profiles. What they saw on tinder is what they got, if they were interested cool, otherwise *shrugs* Moving on…… I was at work at the time i received this message so I didn’t reply for like 8 hours or something and I was like “ohhhh gotcha but you found my insta?”

Here is where it get interesting. In the 8 hour time frame, I received a random text that said “hey yo did someone get you appt to come into the shop” Once again caught off guard like what????? I respond like uhm no, I think you have the wrong number. He goes “oh my bad, this number was in my call log and I just wanted to check and see if you got an appt. ” Lol at this point I am still a little lost, and I respond with I wouldn’t need to come in and get a cut, I think your confused.

Sorry for all the side bars here…. So while I was bored at work, I go look into this dudes Instagram check out what he looks like, and what he does, all this stuff. Not thinking of it having any relation to the texts I’m currently getting. Come to find out this man has a barbershop, in the town close to where I live. So now I’m intrigued if the person texting me is the person trying to message me on IG……. AND if so, how tf he got my number.

I’m doing my own investigation of  a man I don’t even know and I’m damn near doing my own investigation on myself, seeing if I really got all this personal information on my tinder or my IG. Cause at this point I am slightly concerned.

So, found out that I in fact, DID NOT have my instagram connected to my tinder. This dude just went on his merry way searching for my IG, by my name or something I assume…. which was oddly weird to me. And then I found out that since I connected my blog to my IG that the “contact me and email me” buttons that they put on your IG, actually link to your phone number. Now in my defense, obviously I knew that people would be able to contact me. BUT I didn’t think I had put my phone number on my IG profile, So I just thought that button was for nothing. I connected my email incase anyone wanted to ask questions about my blog or give suggestions. But I did not pay attention to the contact me. Turns out….. when you clicked on the contact me, it pops up my phone number to “Call or text”

So while I was dumbfounded that I didn’t know I was putting my phone number out there for the world, I also had a stupid “light bulb” start flashing on my head. The random number I had texting me was a barber asking me if I had an appt made, and what are the chances that the dude messaging me on IG owns a barbershop. Like boyyyyyyy you think you slick, trying to just slide in my messages like “idk how I got this number” WHAT. Anyway this dude texts me back and again says sorry about the confusion, not sure how this number got in my call logs.

At this point in my life, with new people coming and going, they all get the most blunt version of me to ever exist. Because if I have learned anything about myself these last five years, I sometimes don’t stand up for myself and I normally don’t say what is on my chest, when I usually should. And unfortunately for the new people entering my life, they get worst of it, cause I hardly hold anything back now.

“Because if I have learned anything about myself these last five years, I sometimes don’t stand up for myself and I normally don’t say what is on my chest, when I usually should.”

OKay back to this dude, I wasn’t about to let this man slide, and think he was slick for getting my number up off IG and then trying to play it off like he don’t know. So I reply to his text again like I’m pretty sure you do know who this is, you just weren’t sure how to start a convo. And he was like “wait now I am confused, who is this. I really don’t know how this number was in my phone, I owe a barbershop so I get tons of calls a day” I’m like this is Danette…. He freaked out, was like omg *facepalm emoji* I must have accidentally pushed your phone number button on IG and that’s why it was in my call log. I feel so stupid” blah, blah,blah, blah.

Okay so that’s how I feel about it now, blah blah blah, you think you slick. But a couple months ago, I was dying laughing like men these days are so slick and then they gotta be funny and laugh at there own stupidity and then us girls think, aw that was so cute. Like y’all WTF are we doing. This is obnoxious. Anyway so I was like dying laughing at this situation and told him he really went out of his damn way to find me and get me to have a conversation with him. Like super persistent and shit. He was like “this looks so creepy on my part” and I’m like ya just a little bit. So he goes “well I just wanted to let you know you are so beautiful, in the most non-creepy man way possible.” See how he is still being funny even tho, lowkey it was creepy. So I let it slide and kept it pushing. The next day he was messaging me on IG asking all 20 questions trying to get to know me. He was really chill, and seemed normal minus our initial encounter. So he would hit me up randomly see how I was, have a short little conversation, and then just stop replying. Like I wasn’t super pressed about it. One day he was like “yo I’m coming into town tomorrow, let’s me up.” So I was like cool name a time and place and I’ll see what I can do. He tells me time and place….. next day He doesn’t respond, nor tell me hey I’m in town. He reads my IG message and keeps it pushing so I’m like bet.

Weeks pass and I posted some pics of me promoting clothes from a boutique that I love.. which btw, here ya go. šŸ˜‰ (https://bubblybleuboutique.com/) check them out. Use my code (DANETTE15) for 15%……. And the dude responds to the pic like “whats up, wyd” BOY BYE. I ain’t doin nothing. So he tries to hold a convo and then all a sudden he’s like “I wanna come see you, forreal this time. I’m leaving work now” LMAO so I send *eye rolls* and he’s like forreal, send me your address.

At this time of the day I was laying around, I had to be at work in an hour or so. And I was in no rush to get up and start getting ready for work, so that I could conveniently make time for this dude. A dude who CLEARLY did not respect my time before. So I let him know like eh today’s not a good day, and he’s like”just meet up with me….. I just wanna see you for a little bit…. do you want me to come… I can come….” blah blah . I’m like dude I don’t care if you come. I was getting a tad bit annoyed but I was like I will be at smoothie king in like 10 minutes, and then I gotta be to work in like 25 minutes. So be there or don’t lmao. He was like bet I’m on my way.

So I pull up, and he’s like inside waiting and watching out the window for me to arrive. When I walk in he comes over and hugs me and was like “what you gonna get I’ve never been here” So he gives me 20$ takes a phone call and says order what you want, and then once he got off the phone he ordered his smoothie too. SO I was like ohh okay this man is paying for my smoothie, not a huge gesture but a little. We chat for 15 minutes, had a cool little conversation. He was telling me I’m too boring to not be doing anything every night when I’m only 24. and all this and that. He starts telling me we should go to KC and see some comedy shows or go like hit up some clubs up there. I’m like ya ya, you talk this big game. Anyway we are leaving, and he goes “we should definitely meet up again” and I go “eh well you have to actually show up, for us to meet up” He like swung his head back and was like “ohhh so shots fired then, OK that’s fair” and I go well I’m just saying. And we went on our way.

So as soon as we drive off this dude messages me on IG and texts me “it was good to see you” I go ya it was nice. He then proceeds to tell me……… “you are a completely different person that I was expecting” I’m like ok?? what is that suppose to mean. He goes “no, like it’s a good thing… Texting Danette and Danette in person are two completely different people” Once again I’m like OK dude…. that doesn’t sound all that good but hey thanks. And he continues….”I’m just saying texting you, is so boring you don’t really hold a conversation well, you don’t show your personality.. but in person you are alot more colorful”

OK so at this point, this MF has really got on my nerves. I always was replying to his messages. He was the one who didn’t show up when he planned the meeting time and place. LOL and he was always the one ending the conversations by not replying. But he wanted to tell me that I sucked at texting… like what?? So lowkey I was pissed and I barely knew this man. LOL But he continued the convo and was like I liked who you are in person, because texting you I was about to stop talking to you cause you just don’t seem outgoing.

Moving forward….. he had convos with me on and off for like the next month. He would send me videos of him playing the guitar. Random texts of “you look like a whole snack” like out of no where, cause he seemed to be creepin’ on my IG every other week.

One time I was at work late and he texted me asking me all these like personal questions. I still have a pic on my IG of me and my ex when he came to my parents’ house for Easter. One is just of us holding hands and the other is him kissing me on the cheek. SO ol’ dude goes “where is “Easter bae”  is he still around or what’s going on with you guys, you looked happy.” First off, I still don’t know this dude. secondly he was always randomly looking at my pics on my profile and then he wants to bring up a picture of my ex from Easter 2 years ago. like LOL.  I tell him we just weren’t on the same page of life right now, with me wanting to get married and he wasn’t ready for that but we’re still friends. And this dude once again, tries to strike a mf nerve.  He goes ” well do you think you were wifey material, I’m just saying” like the audacity of this mf. I go well I don’t know I feel like I am preparing myself daily to learn my ins and outs. So then He send me this long blow out text about… here you go y’all word for words, cause you know I got to keep receipts… “I think that’s what I see most from guys and girls. Sub-par bitches demanding excellence. Dude be the same way thou… IG has fucked the game up. Everybody looking for that dime, who most of the time ain’t worth shit… Lol i’m not saying that’s you, we all peak at different times. but it’s a learning process and you have to be willing to grow to that point. Most dudes don’t know wth they really want, sometimes as a woman it takes patience and even guidance but who knows…. just talkin”

So I’m like ooooooh ok mister philosopher. You sound smart, since you always creepin on IG, sounds like your the one not knowing what you want and just looking for a “dime” So again we still chatted on and off nothing serious, he randomly would text asking to do breakfast or do drinks but my hours were so random, I never met up with him again.

Fast forward…….. I take a trip to Denver with my girls, we were out and about. Went to a concert that weekend and then hit up a club. My girl, she is fine as a dime lemme tell y’all. She has a whole kid. My sweet god daughter. (hearts) Anywho, she has a whole kid and her body is still snatched, she obviously was posting pics all weekend of her and us and all that. yada yada. On Sunday when we were driving home, she randomly asked me, girl do you know who this dude is, he’s been trying to message me and it says he follows you. SO I look over and low and behold…… THIS DUDE.. LMAO. Ok I am not pressed cause I really wasn’t messing with him like that nor was I too interested, he was occupying some of my time but nothin serious. So yes it was the barber dude messaging her. Saying ALLLLLLL the same shit. “Girl you a whole snack… why you so fine…. what’s up girl” He was looking real thirsty and all that. Lol so y’all should probably sit down for this next little TEA I am about to spill.

“…..y’all should probably sit down for this next little TEA I am about to spill.”

I had seen this girl post heart eyes under his picture a few weeks prior…. and like the next day when I was scrolling through IG, I had saw the comment was gone.. LOL now when I am bored I will investigate every dudes pictures see where these girls from blah blah. Follow some new random girls that look fine as hell, so I can get myself motivated to get fit again, LMAO anyway.  If my girl wants some dirt on her new boo, I got her in no time. So I look into this girls profile and it is protected. I message my home girl and tell her to look into it. She didn’t really find much. But now back to Denver roadtrip. My other girl that was in the back of the car…  asked for the girl’s name and found her on Facebook in less than 5 minutes. Like BITCH. she is better than me. LOL
SO…. y’all ready.

This isn’t some random girl commenting under this dudes picture.. She had the same last name for a MF reason. Yes, honeyssssss. You read that right, SAME last name. THIS DUDE…… has a whole ass MF wife. He has been married for two years. To this beautiful girl. She is gorgeous. And by the looks of the girls Facebook they had been together longggg before they got married so. We are back to my trend…. Men really ain’t shit!! Like this dude was not only trying to get on with me, meet up, hold conversations, get personal… BUT he was trying to do the same to my best friend. Like BOY what. He was a whole ass hoe. and a MARRIED one at that.

So I go ahead and screenshot the pictures of his wedding day with his beautiful wife and send them over to his phone, and LOL tell this dude “treat her better” I wanted to cuss this MF out because like he is literally what is wrong with this generation, and he tried to tell me maybe I wasn’t wife material. Like you are married and ain’t even acting like a damn husband. But he replies back….. LOL…… He has the audacity to reply “Yeah… I stopped talking to you for a reason. Sorry”

LIKE WHAT! LOFUCKINGL. As if he just got married two months ago or some shit and oops he just happen to slip up and text me for a couple months. And then on top of that, message my best friend the same shit. Like I was dead. I really was in shock that all these crazy ass situations keep happening to me. Like I really do not understand why I keep running into these trash men. So after this incident I deleted my tinder for good. There cannot be any good men to come from this stupid app. SO BYE TO TINDER.


More lessons to be learned. I have learned I really need to invest more in myself. More than I ever have before because, this dude like literally had me questioning who tf I was. Like am I really that bad of a texter? I swore all these other people in my life really sucked but shit maybe it is me. He had me questioning… If I was the problem.  Like I barely knew this man and he had me question who tf I was. So I definitely decided that there will not be another man getting my investment or time. Cause honestly it is good to be put in your place, and have help to learn about yourself. But I think it is more helpful and necessary to do it by yourself and not by some random dude judging me.

OK whew, that’s been on my chest for some time now. Lol hope y’all enjoy my daily mess of trash men. And continue to join the movement of, Men ain’t shit. Until we find some dream come true man. LOL

Thanks for reading, The Chaos y’all it means the world to me! Happy fourth! šŸ™‚



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