Black lives DO Matter.

I’m not even sure this is my place to speak or share. Or maybe it is. I am not sure, but what I do know it’s on my heart. And my heart is heavy.

I’ve been hesitant to post but God has been pulling my heart ties for several days.

I honestly think it needs to be said. It needs to be heard. It needs to be read over and over again. My voice doesn’t need to be heard but those of the Black community do need to be heard.

Black lives matter.


They do. Each and Every single one.

Just like your life matters, yes you. Whoever is reading this. Your life matters.

And it’s not saying white lives don’t matter, or Asian lives, or Muslim lives or whoever else’s lives “don’t matter”. That’s NOT the point.

The point is, and has been- Black lives matter!

And if you aren’t grasping that at this time in life, if you aren’t simplying trying to understand that, then you are a part of the problem.

“The point is Black Lives Matter.”

They have always mattered, but no one seems to share and show the same respect for their race. And Why is that? Really ask yourself why?

Black lives are continuously being senselessly taken. By policemen, by undercover cops, by white supremacists, etc.

Their lives are being taken for no reason other than the color of their skin.

There are so many scenarios, so many videos, so many hashtags.


There are too many stories and headlines that are miss worded. Worded to look as if authority had “a right to kill these black men and women”

They don’t.

These black men and women, deserved to live! They had a right to life. A right to go for a run, a right to go to the grocery store. A right to exist.

Read it again.

“A right to exist.”

Racism exists. I don’t experience it myself, but I see it. I hear it. I notice it.

It’s wrong. It’s been wrong. People need to wake up. And show love and respect for their race. Black people, Black lives, Black humans. Just like they would for anyone else. Because they are just that HUMANS. We are all just that, Humans!

God made humans. All humans. Of every color and race. He loves them. He loves them all. And so should we, so should everyone else.

We need to love one another as our own. We need to give support. A lending hand, a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, or be a body that shows up!!

God did not make one human or race better than the other. We are all created EQUAL in the eyes of God.

Genesis 5:1-2

In no way, is this world doing the same. In no way is everyone being loved and respected the same. We are not treating all humans, all humans that God created as equal.

In no way are we treating the African American race as they are Equal. They are Americans. They are humans.

We need to Do better. Be better.

Be kind. Show love. Show compassion.

Black people are being suppressed, they are being killed. While we sit back and watch. We are sad and upset. We are shocked and confused. But then no one stands up for them. No one shows up and does anything.

We retweet. We share hashtags. We repost the video or post by a celebrity.

But are we actually trying to find ways to change the problem?

Are we actually looking for a solution?

How about talking to your legislature about police officers not getting paid leave when such events happen? Calling your senators and forcing them to take action.

Forcing our government to look. To pay attention and to do actually do something about it! Not just give it media attention.

Sign the petitions. Text the number. Donate money. Go to protests. Stand tall, protect their community! Show that you are a part of their community and support their efforts to make a change!

Their families, deserve closure. They deserve better. They deserve to know that people care about their lost loved ones.

I am livid. I am sad. I am upset and mad. I am experiencing a ton of emotions. But you know who have way more emotions?

The black population. The people who have to actually experience this happening. The families, the loved ones- of those killed, murdered.

I am experiencing this from an outside lense. An outside view. I am not in it, I am not living in that fear. I am not experiencing first hand the discrimination, the racism.

For those people in it. For those living in fear, I am almost positive their emotions are 100x worse than mine. I am so sorry for all the hurt you have experience in the years of oppression.

It is so sad that this is the world you have to live in. My heart breaks for you- it hurts and aches even though I do not feel it to the depths you have to experience it.

Turning on the news or opening their feed and seeing yet another Black life taken. Seeing another case dismissed. Seeing no justice being given. Seeing no care, love, or respect being shown for their race, for their family, for their children, mothers, fathers, for their people!

We have to stand up for them. We have to speak up, we have to show up. White privilege is real and we need to start using it for good!

We need to start respecting them. We need to start loving them as our own, as your own.

People will comment and say “well what about white lives” “what about the good cops” “what about the protest and riots” “what about this” “or that”


Are white people being suppressed? Are they being killed by cops for no reason? Are they getting hunted down for going on a run? Are the good cops taking a stand against their racist co workers?

No. They simply aren’t. We are living this normal American life. Going out and about, doing whatever we please with no worry about much of anything.

Are all cops bad? No. THATS NOT THE POINT. Do all lives matter, yes BUT THATS NOT THE POINT. The point again and again is that the world has shown that Black lives don’t matter enough… and they NEED TO! So until we recognize and start showing that BLACK LIVES MATTER, then nothing else needs to be addressed.

Black Lives Matter!

There is no “but” to the conversation. There is no “what about this” it’s not about you. It’s not about this or that. It’s simply about Black Lives Matter and they need to be shown the same respect every single day as white people are given with no thought.

We need to wake up and see it for what it is. We need to start loving each and everyone around us all as if they are God’s people. Because guess what, they are!

We need to start acknowledging the racism as it is. See if for how their race sees and experiences it. Not for how it is “not affecting us”

That is white privilege, thinking well it’s not directing affecting me. So I don’t need to worry about it or do anything about it. THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!

We need to have uncomfortable conversions with other white people. With white people who still show racism openly or privately. We need to call them out! Stand up and tell them it’s wrong.

It time to change things. Not just sit back and continuing to watch it happen again and again.

Carlos Rodriguez said this: “ “I see no color” is not the goal. I see your color and I honor you. I value your input. I will be educated about your lived experiences. I will work against racism that harms you. You are beautiful. Tell me how to do better. That is the goal.”

That. That is exactly what Americans. Exactly what white people need to do. White people need to acknowledge their color, their race and honor them. Love them.

So Start by Loving one another.

“Love one another as I have loved you.”

John 13:34

Pray. Pray for those affected. Pray for change. Pray for justice. Pray, pray, pray.

And then find some way to show up. Find some way to to be a part of the solution, not the problem.

Say something when you see it. SPEAK UP! Pay attention, call people out of their shit. Tell them to love one another and not create the hatred. Tell them it’s 2020, and the person next to them was created the exact same way they were. That God loves you and much as the person next to you.

Things won’t be fixed over night. Things won’t be fixed at all if we each don’t do our part to fix the problem. To finding the solution— but first realize and acknowledge there is a problem.

Because there is a problem.

And it is time that we finally start doing something about it, instead of waiting for the next person to make the first step.

Below are a few ways to educate yourself. Few ways to help start the chain reaction for change. There are a ton of references out there to start the change. There are a ton of resources out there to help. Find something that hits you right in your chest and go do something about it.

Be the change.

Thanks for reading. Share if you’d like. Reach out to those in need. Show love and Love one another.

** Again my voice is not what needs to be heard, the Black community is who needs to be heard!!**

God bless you all. And may God bring peace to those who are hurting. And to those protesting be safe! We love you. We support you!



More resources and education:

If I am missing any resources that are in need of attention, please comment or email and I will add to this post! Thanks.

Easter Sunday


I hope last night you were all able to digest all that God had given to us. His sacrifice. Jesus. The crucifixion.

If not. Don’t worry, I wasn’t able to digest it all either. It’s a process. And something I’m not sure I will ever be able to completely understand. But for me that is the Joy of every Lent. I get to revisit this. Every year.

And every year I grow in my faith, I get to focus on something new about Easter.

This is what I love about Faith.

About religion in general. You never reach a full understanding -which means growth. It means you can never stop learning. That there is always more to learn. More to understand.

That is truly amazing to me.

Anywhooooo… back to Easter Sunday.

Things and ways to keep you focused on Easter, on God and all he has given us. And Focus on the amazing celebration God has provided us.

***Do what you would normally do.***

For example: do you normally go to church? Yes, then find an online service. If your normal church does not have an online mass to watch, search Facebook or Google- there are a ton of churches that are live streaming their services weekly. And today will be no different. (I’ll link some below) Sit down and watch church as if you are in the actual pews. If you don’t normally go to Easter mass, maybe this year is the year to start cause it’s in the safety of your own home! I say that’s a perfect time to fully commit.

***Dress up***

Yup, you heard me. I normally dress up for Easter Mass, so today will be no different. I am going to get ready as a I normally do. I am going to plop myself on the couch. All dressed in my Easter Best with no one to see it but my sister and God. But who cares. I am going to participate, praise, and worship as if I am actually sitting in my church. After all the church building itself is not actually the church, The People are.

***Start Easter Sunday “like normal”***

I know I keep reinterating this. but seriously, God slowed down your life on purpose. He wanted us to experience Easter different this year. And it will be just that, different. You will be in your home all day. BUT- do your same routine.

That may mean for many, something totally new. Maybe you live alone? Maybe you still get to wake up to your family? It will be different for everyone.

Unfortunately I will miss waking up to my whole family. To my dad cooking breakfast, us all coming downstairs and eating and then getting ready. On off years we are up at 5, yes 5AM preparing for the Easter Pageant we hold in our home town. (I’ll link our FB page below for those who want to watch last year’s performance) On the other years we wake up late 9am or so and all go to mass together.

This year, won’t be the same. It will just be me and my sister. But atleast I have one family member to keep things close to the same. I plan to still get up and make breakfast, drink coffee and then get ready. You all should do the same.

This year will be different. You will have to find a normal in the not so normal. But take this all as a blessing. Take it as God wanting to show you something new. Something different. Slowing down and being able to enjoy and see things from a different point of view will be amazing. This year you may be able to see something that normally you would have missed out on because well, we too often are moving too fast. Going in too many different directions, We are always on the go, always on to the next place and next project.

This year will be different but JUST MAYBE, just maybe. God will show us something new, something amazing that we have missed out on.

Today I ask you to be present. To rejoice. To love. And to pray. Ask God to show you things you may have been missing out on. To show you gratitude of what you do have right now. And to be grateful of what you have been able to do in previous years.

Maybe this year is meant to show us we should not take things for granted as much as we do. That every day is a gift, that our family is a gift, that holiday, Easter, family gatherings on holidays are a GIFT. Be grateful.

But most importantly, sit and enjoy Easter. Realize what miracle God has given us. That Jesus was crucified and three days later, he rose from the dead. Say it loudly ……. and rejoice……




May God bless you all, may he provide you the peace you need during this time. Enjoy those who are around you this Easter. And thank God for all he has provided.

Church service Links|||

St. Isidore’s Student Catholic Center **9:30am CST**

Elevation Church w/ Steven Furtick

Transformation Church w/ Michael Todd **11am CST**

Easter Sunday at the Vatican w/ Pope Francis -my favorite choice- It will be Rome time so you won’t be able to catch it live.

T.D. Jakes Ministries **9am CST**

Chris Tomlin – he has an amazing Good Friday service.

Lauren Daigle – also had an amazing Good Friday service.

These are my top picks. just a few places to easily find a service to watch. There are a ton more I am sure. Just search around!

Lastly… Easter Pageant link |||

Pawnee Rock Easter Pageant – we will re share the Live of last years pageant.


Holy Saturday

Or as I refer to it as, Somber Saturday.

I would have wrote this earlier but today is meant for silence. You are supposed to spend this day in a solemn, sad, somber state. As Jesus has just died on the cross and been laid in the tomb.

His followers, believers, friends, family, all had no idea of what was to come tomorrow. They felt a very deep and heavy loss. They were confused. And I’m sure very lost at how this could have happened.

For me it is hard to feel that exact feeling or try to relate to that as I already know the outcome. But I tried to grow in my religion a little more today and to try and think differently than previous years.

Today I spend most of my day searching for a silence. Searching for slowing down and feeling the sad and sorrowful feeling of what his followers then must have felt. I should feel that same way today as well.

It was hard.

Hard for me to find silence. Or honestly to sit in silence. I am always busy and on the go. Running errands, getting groceries, picking up projects to complete. Saturday’s are busy for me in the sense so that on Sunday I can rest. So usually I spend my Saturday’s running around

With the current world state or pandemic we are facing being at home is one way to force you into silence. But I tried to change that mindset and look at it as an opportunity or a chance for God to slow me down.

Today I really did try to focus on slowing down and finding that. I’m not sure I succeeded.

But my walk that I went on today, I walked an extra mile more than I usually do. I listened to his word. I prayed. I focused on God.

Although I did not find complete silence today. I did try to find God more than I usually do on Easter Saturday. I hope you all found time to do that today as well.

This time we are all living in might be new, might be a challenge and hard to understand. But this time thousands and thousands of years ago Jesus’s friends all were experiencing this same feeling.

Tonight, let what your feeling exist. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Journal about it. Think about it deeply. Take it all in.

And pray. Pray to God to help you through this. Pray to God and thank him for giving us his only son. Thank him for giving us the greatest miracle to date.

Be grateful.

Be thankful.

And know that when tomorrow comes. When we wake up. God is going to show us a miracle. We may not know exactly what that miracle is. But he is going to provide.


Good Friday.

Have y’all ever pondered on the thought of why in the world we would ever call it Good Friday?

How is it Good? Jesus Christ was crucified today. On the cross for our sins. How am I to sit in silence and solitude today knowing he was put on the cross for me, for you, for all of us.

Luckily for all of us today we know that He will rise in three days. But back then his people, his followers, his friends- none of them knew.

For those of you who are dealing with death in your life right now. I hope you are finding the peace you are needing. This Holy Week is full of grieving and then it is celebration. A time to rejoice.

I know it is hard to deal with loss in our lives but God has a purpose. God has a greater plan. We may not know what it is today or next month but he will reveal it in time. He will provide you grace, peace, guidance, and love. God’s love is unconditional we just have to show up and believe.

Holy Week and Easter are a perfect time to realize that with loss. God brings greater things. He provides a greater joy and the deep grief we experience. He always provides more and better than the sadness and grief that we have to go through.

Find joy in that today.

Easter is such an amazing time for me. I love every bit of Holy Week. Yes including each day we are called to go to Mass, to sit in silence for hours and search for God. To simply show up.

I love Good Friday just as much as the other days, even though it does bring sorrow. Just because every year it brings me back to ponder- God really gave us everything he had. He sacrificed his only son for me. For you. That is just crazy.

Sometimes I may not feel good enough, I may not feel like I know who I am completely but Holy Week always pops me out of that mindset. God gave his all, his one and only son to show that I am worth it. My sins are forgiven. And that he will always love me.

In the light of the current times know that God is good. He is always good. All the time.

Remember He is always the same, yesterday, today, and forever.

He will never leave you.

Today I hope you all take time for silence. For prayer and reflection. I hope you are still searching for the “normal” in everyday and asking God to show you what that may look like in each new day.

Have a blessed Good Friday.


ONE Hundred Days!!!

I made it.

I finally made it to 100 days of reading the Bible. Every. Single. Day.

Okay okay. I started January 6th and I caught up by the 10th. So technically in 6 days I will be 100 days in. But regardless- a milestone to remember! A milestone to celebrate.

And what a beautiful day it is, to do it on.

Holy Thursday!

Yes it is just that- Holy Week. And today is Thursday, for all of you who are WFH, and are unsure of what day it is. Or for those of us who are still working everyday in this chaos. Yes it is Thursday.

For those of you who missed my previous blog post. This year 2020, I decided I wanted to invest and indulge myself in the Lord and into my religion more that I ever have before. The easiest way I found to start and do that- is to focus on his word. The Bible.

So everyday on my Bible app. I get a Notification at 6:30am. I wake up. I open the app and I read or listen to that days chapters, in the book we are reading and then I go to Spotify and I listen to the podcast set for those chapters. It explains it in a simpler way and summarizes what I just read. I love getting a “recap” just to make sure I understand a little bit more of what just happened. Because trust me the Bible can be confusing sometimes.

So far I have not been overwhelmed with reading the Bible. Probably because it’s only a few chapters a day and it’s all laid out for me. That way I just listen along and the chapters are already planned out for me. Super easy.

I also love how understanding the whole experience is. They always throw in there “don’t worry if you are behind… you are still reading the Bible. Probably more that you would have been anyway” like good job for sticking with it and still being here.

They help make “feeling human”and missing a day or two seem realistic or not such a huge mistake. They give you room to breathe and not take it as a big mishap for missing one day of reading.

After all, God is grateful that I am reading his word. God is grateful that I am connecting with him daily and building my relationship with him.

This is a milestone for me. Committing to more time with God and actually following through. Finally deciding it is time to put God first and then everything else will find its own time.

I hope you all are staying home. And staying safe. I also am praying for you all. I am praying that this all ends soon. But I am also praying that everyone slows down a bit.

God is searching, reaching out his hand. Wanting you…. yes, You to slow down and call out to him. The battle is His, not yours. * 2 Chronicles 20:15 *

During this time of uncertainty and chaos, I hope you all are finding time to slow down. I also hope you all are taking time to find “the normal” escpecially during Holy Week.

Today being Holly Thursday- normally I would be getting ready and blocking out a time to go to mass. To sit in the pews and be at the church with God to relive what he experienced during these next three days. For me finding normal meant still getting ready for mass even though I’d be watching it in my own home. It meant still preparing and praying prior to the mass time. Still showing up and watching the mass as if I am at the church and in the pew.

Creating normal is hard, especially when nothing is normal right now. But if you change a few things around and switch your mindset. Things are still the same. God is still the same. * Hebrews 13:8 *

God is still the same.”

Hebrews 13:8

May God Bless you all, may he protect you during this time and may he show you the love and peace you are searching for.

I hope to write another blog tomorrow for Good Friday and hopefully one Saturday in ways you can still keep Easter “the same” while staying at home instead of being at the church.

God Bless