For the LOVE of your Soul.

With “Mental Health Awareness month” coming to a close I want to reflect with you all. 

First let’s start with those struggling.

We are all struggling, some more than others. Some don’t even realize they are struggling because they have been living with “this mess” for far to long. Others, you may continue to wake up every morning and sit in your sorrow or whatever the case is, you know where you are in your journey and you know where you would like to be. Do not let this stop you from waking up every morning. Do not let this stop you from doing the best YOU can. 

Do not let the struggle defeat you. You are strong, and you are capable. 

Do not let others tell you what is normal and what is not.

There is “a standard” but by all means you do not have to measure to that.

None of us were created the same. In God’s vision in his eyes we are all unique which means everyone’s mental health is different, should be different, and will be different.

I can not compare my health, to my brothers, or my sister; because we are not the same -regardless if we all grew up in the same household. You are different, your health should be treated different.

You may think you need therapy, others may not. OR others may think you need therapy, and you may not. See that’s the beauty, it is your life, you get to choose what is best for you, what is best for your mental health. Some of you, your therapy is the gym, or doing a hobby. While others of you going to therapy is therapy. I want to congratulation all of you though for realizing what helps you be strong mentally. But I also want to keep pushing you to grow and realize what is Not good for you mentally. Grow, Learn, and explore- keep fighting to complete your journey.

Do not compare where you are, to where someone else is. 

I want you all to allow yourself to realize where you are right now, in your mental health, or in your life. You are doing the best you can with what you have. Which is amazing, you are doing great. Regardless if you feel that you are not, you are! If you ask others in your life how they are doing, they may admire where you are- or how you are taking on your life situations. Meanwhile you may be admiring others. But please realize that your journey is just that, YOURS. 

“Which is amazing, you are doing great. “

Keep fighting

Fight the fight. Wake up everyday, breathe, say a prayer and thank God for allowing this day to be a gift. Later in the day, it may seem as if this day is no longer a gift, BUT realize God does not give battles to those who cannot fight them.

So for the Love of your Soul…..

Connect with your inner self. Find love for yourself. Wake up every morning and smile, even if that is a small victory. Find people in your life that help strengthen you and show you love all the time no matter where you are in your journey. Start a routine, find a new hobby, learn to love aspects of you’re life you never have.

Find peace while conquering your chaos, because after all it is YOURS. 

And for all of you who cannot, I realize it is much deeper than you can handle. It may not be in the grip of your hands. I ask you to pray. Pray that God guides you in the dark until you see the light. For he is the one who can help save you.

Here are a few of my favorite scriptures to help guide you.

Thanks for reading!

You all made it through May. You made it through the school year. Keep pushing, you’re doing amazing. I love you all. 

XOXO.

Oh Valentine’s.

February Fourteenth.

A date everyone is either annoyed with or dreaming of in every detail. Being 25 I have learned along the way the importance of this day and how to go about it single or in a relationship. This year Valentine’s was on a Thursday, so for adults just another day of the work week. And for single adults – just another normal night at home, alone.

Last year I wasn’t uber depressed about being single and “alone” on that wonderful Wednesday. I decided to embrace the day or week as every other week && choosing to love myself the best way I know possible. But this year things have changed a little, so I get to enjoy the other end of the spectrum. 🙂

But for those of you who are still single….. Here are a few ways to love Valentine’s and to spread the Love instead of hating the day.

Be a secret admirer.

For someone you know probably needs it more than you. Last year, I left a note in one my coworkers work locker, just a simple note and some homemade cookies. She was going through a divorce and I cannot even imagine the pain she is experiencing so I decided to do a small thing that would make her feel loved. And it did, she was so surprised and she actually said she never had received a valentine’s before. I made a small gesture that made a big impact on her day and probably week. AND she deserved it too. So send your best friend a card, or call your momma, or have lunch with your papa. Share love with your family, your friends. This day is about love – and it doesn’t have to be with a significant other!

Buy yourself the damn flowers.

You do NOT have to wait for a man to come along to get you the flowers you want. LOVE YOURSELF! However I live on a budget, lol. So I do not suggest buying yourself the 50$ bouquet of roses, unless you really wanna spoil yourself. *shrugs* your choice of course! I wait a few days and buy the left over flowers at target. I paid $5 for a bouquet that was $25. And yes they were a little under watered BUT put them in vase with water and boom – as beautiful as ever ! & let me tell ya my purpleish bouquet of roses were stunning.

Enjoy Love from those who love YOU.

You do not need a MAN. When you have family who love you, friends who love you and Yourself. Let’s be honest – you have YOU. And there is no one better for you than…. You. Surprise! If you don’t live close to any family or friends – then take time for yourself on this lovely day, or any day for that matter. Self- Love has become a big topic for a reason, and if you haven’t taken it seriously – I strongly suggest you do.

So… confession. Most of this was actually wrote a year ago. Now I am happily in a relationship and boy was I spoiled this year. I know not everyone gets to enjoy this holiday with someone, but last year I really embraced loving myself as I think everyone should. Enjoy the day of Love!

Anywho, I hope everyone spends this Valentines happily in love with themselves and their life. And if you do get to be spoiled by your significant other, take time to actually enjoy each other. Love yours.

XOXO.

Giving Thanks.

Well once again, I have been MIA. I seem to put my blog on the back burner when life hits. And lately I have been focusing on a new project with my friend Lorenzo. That I am so excited to share with y’all soon. But anyways.

“I want to reflect back on Thanksgiving.”

Although we are well into December, I want to reflect back on Thanksgiving. I love this holiday for many reasons. One, it’s a holiday I can always count on everyone in my family getting together. Two, it’s always going to land a Thursday, and nothing beats a consistent holiday. Three, food always taste better on Thanksgiving. I think as I get older The more I realize the importance of this day. I think overall some people ignore the real meaning of the holiday and just focus on the food, which is completely understandable. But I think taking time to think about the underlying meaning of this holiday is important too.
If you haven’t looked up the definition of “Thanksgiving” here is what the dictionary states,“the expression of gratitude, especially to God.”

For me, the purpose of this holiday is literally meant to give gratitude for all that you have. To thank God for continuing to provide, acknowledging every little moment, every gift, every breath, and every second of time God has given me, given you, and given all of us.
We really should be giving thanks on a daily basis. But I think we get caught up in our own routines, that we forget how we got here, and WHO got us here. So having a specific day to literally spend the whole day giving thanks, I think that’s really important.
Especially in our culture today, where we have started to focus on the day after Thanksgiving,when Black Friday is a huge deal. And people just go back to their normal lives and go above and beyond to get what they want, right after the fact we just celebrated THANKSgiving. There’s a lot of confusion, the day before giving thanks for everything, to the following day- being rude, and obnoxious to get more of things you don’t need. It’s like we forget we just gave thanks for everything we have and are so grateful for all we have– just to go buy more the next day. It’s contradicting.
We need to really reflect where our focus truly is.

“……….the expression of gratitude, especially to God.”

This year I spent time with my family in Colorado. For me it’s important to take time away from the Chaos to relax and reflect on your life. Like actually sit back and enjoy the small things. Giving thanks to all that I have can be hard for me to do on a daily basis because we take for granted a lot of the things we have. As of all you, I am just as guilty of this. We forget all the hard work it took to receive what we wanted but then once we have it, we push away the reality of all we put into it.
Like the new job; you prayed for, you worked hard, you rewrote your resume three maybe four times, and then finally landed the interview. Once the interview was over, the excitement of the call you received saying you got the job, All of that goes away once the stress of learning the new job comes. We really should sit down daily and just be thankful you have this opportunity, thank God for providing this for you, and for all the hard work you put into it. Take time. Reflect. Be thankful. You are where you are, because you deserve it, but also it can be taken from you if you are not thankful.

Even though November and Thanksgiving are over, take time before the end of 2018, to reflect. The best time to reflect is definitely during the holiday season when there is a lot of want, want, want. But please this year; Just sit, relax, and reflect on what you have and every blessing God has given you. Whether that is your family, close friends, your job, your car, being alive today, or new opportunities arriving. Realize that God has given each and everyone of us the things we need at the right time. Even when we get tied up with all the things we have or the things we are doing, take time to give thanks to what we have been provided.
Count your blessings.
And Be thankful.

Until next time, Happy Holidays!
XoXo.

The season of change.

Fall has officially arrived. I don’t know where you all live but the weather has already cooled off in Kansas. Like it was literally 90 degrees the other day and now it is 70 something. Trust me I am not complaining, it’s nice. I am definitely the “fall weather” type of girl. I love sitting outside and wrapping up in a blanket, sitting at bonfire or having to put on a hoodie with my shorts in the morning. I love the colder weather. Plus it’s football season so it is about time the weather caught up. Living in Manhattan has really amped up my love for football because once football season starts, the whole city just comes to life. Saturday is just a completely different feeling than any other Saturdays, including the terrible traffic. But I can’t complain because Saturdays become Caturdays, and football and K-state become 100x what they were a couple months ago. SO HAPPY FALL.

Anywho, another reason I love fall is the changing of the seasons. For me the change of seasons, is like a new start. I’m not really the person who does “New Year resolutions” because my mentality is larger than trying to change myself between the end of December and the month of January. It may have taken me a while to get there, but I realized you can’t change or become the better person you want to be in A MONTH, you should always be growing, continually. And knowing it takes time to create a better you, is a huge step. It takes time to create your whole masterpiece, time to find yourself, or to accomplish goals. Nothing happens over night, and it definitely doesn’t happen in one month.

“…but I realized you can’t change or become the better person you want to be in A MONTH, you should always be growing, continually.”

For me, it is easier to focus on seasons. To think these next three months or this season, I want to accomplish this. Like changing a bad habit, or discovering something new about myself. Right now, I feel like I have had pretty steady growth over this year, by really focusing in on where I want to grow and then taking those small steps each season to achieve them. Since I’ve been 25 for about 6 months now, I really feel like I started to embrace that I am not on a time clock, in anyway what so ever. I do not have to be married by this age, or have a baby by this age, or have a certain number of commas in my bank account, or have my own house, or feel like I need to reach a promotion by this age. There is no magic age and accepting this and finally joining in and enjoying my OWN journey, has let myself slow down with my life. Before, I use to waste time dreaming and trying to fast forward to my future and I missed so much of my life doing this.

I would definitely say with this change of the season, I have really enjoyed the direction my life is going. I love being single, I have so much more time for ME, focusing on my own dreams and my goals. And currently this weather has me beyond motivated to continue my journey of change. Seeing all the change around me; the change of the trees with leaves falling off, some plants are blooming while others are dying. I think seeing other things change around me forces me to create change in my own life.

So…. in the spirit of the seasons changing and working on becoming the best me.

  • I plan to embrace my singleness
  • Explore new places
  • Book flights to places I’ve been planning but haven’t took time to go
  • Showing up more for friends who are showing up for me
  • Completing small projects I’ve been putting off
  • holding myself accountable for my actions and choices.
  • I hope to be more consistent with my blog and and putting more into my blog for all of you!!

What do y’all have planned for your season of change??

 

 

 

P.S.     The small group of you who support me and take time to read anything I write about. You all really keep my dream of my blog reaching the full potential. So thank you for being a part of my chaos.
XOXO

12:12am

Here’s to being extremely vulnerable with this blog.

 

I’m one of those girls. Just like every other 20 some year old girl, you know the one who has been heart broken. Whose heart has been damaged. I’ve been through it, experienced more heart break than I would have ever thought I would have to. Many optimistic people say “it will get better…. the one who deserves you will find you” “it will all be worth it”  All the cliche shit. It gets old trust me I know, I have heard more than enough of it. But then the other side, the pessimists come in and tell you
“there is alot more heartache coming your way, you’re only 25.” “You’re still young, there are so many men to meet and ones who will hurt you”

Personally screw that. Both of those cases sound terrible. I don’t see happiness in either of those options. Like I don’t want to experience anymore pain. Whether that is heart break, emotional, or mental confusion. I just don’t want to go through it again. Which is why I think I am being so picky lately. Picky with the people in my life, with the people who get my time. Picky with who I choose to spend time with or choose to hold a conversation with. I have put so much effort into relationships and people that never gave HALF of that effort back to me. Do you know how hard it is, at the end of the day to fill yourself back up after you have just poured it all out for someone else? Just to get none of that back, it is exhausting. Constantly pouring out, and then attempting to refill it all by yourself. It is draining; mentally, emotionally, and physically. And it is not a healthy way to live.

Relationships really have to be two, separate people. “Two souls joined as one.” Like each person has to be their own person. Someone else should not be coming into your life to complete you. You should want someone to better YOU, join you in your journey, not be your journey.

Honestly after all the hurt, I would say I am so focused on me, just me. Focused on my own journey and where I am going.  And once you find YOU. Once you re-focus and set your mind on you and only you, it is so freeing. I know some of y’all know what I mean cause you have probably been there. Put your focus on someone else, worried where they were going and what was next for them. Or what was next for you as a couple. Always being selfless and thinking of them before yourself.

The best thing I did for myself is stop being so focused on someone else. Someone becoming my husband, or the father of the children I want. I stopped praying that my husband would walk in and we could get this marriage life started. I stopped dreaming of having everything I want, RIGHT NOW. And just started to enjoy my own life. Life with myself. Now I’m stopping to smell the roses, taking deep breaths, realizing I have time. And amazingly I am learning more of my ins and out. Learning what I bring to the table as a woman, a wife, a mother.

“You see your best potential when you focus on yourself and no one else.”

The sooner I focus on myself, the sooner I start to create the best me and become the best woman and wife I need to be. Then and only then will God bring me a man worth my time. A man who wants the same things I want. Until then, it is all about me and God. I know the whole “independent woman” thing has kind of been played out. It’s always been more of a cliche idea that every woman should strive to be. But if were being honest, It really is the truth. You see your best potential when you focus on yourself and no one else. When it’s just you, and you mess up, that blame is on you. You create the disappointment and then you grow from it. You learn to set a higher standard for yourself. No one else is responsible for your own growth , and that alone is an amazing feeling.

I am no where near the woman I need to be or want to be. BUT that is the beauty of it. You determine your own growth and how far you still need to go. No one else is determining your worth, what you should be, or where you should be. It really is a crazy journey and seriously I have never loved learning more about myself. Who I am, and who I am becoming, I am learning to love ME. I have become a stronger woman already with this mentality. I know I still have weak points, and people but I am still working and growing.

Now is the time to Love Yourself, when your 18, 22, 26, shoot even 40. You deserve to learn what loving yourself feels like. If you know how to love yourself correctly. You will hold a much higher standard to others who are in your life or those who come into your life. People cannot love you less than you deserve if you hold them to the same standard you hold yourself. So here is to: self love, growth, strength, wisdom, and becoming the best version of myself, for myself!

I truly hope this finds its way to someone needing that extra push. You got this girl. The best you is inside of you right now, you just have to let her fly.

XOXO.

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more from The Chaos.