Vlogging round one.

This was so hard for me to dive into. This video is extremely outside my comfort zone. It is my first Vlog ever, and personally I am not happy with it. But I had to start some where. SO here it is. If you have 20 minutes and feel like some entertainment.

Watch and enjoy. Share for others to laugh *face palm* and send me some comments for suggestion, content or topics to discuss, anything and everything to help me out! 🙂

Thanks y’all for the support. More to come soon.

Stay tuned for more from The Chaos. XOXO.

 

Click the link to watch my first vlog, and maybe my last. LOL **as soon as I figure out how to post the video directly that will be helpful* I am trying y’all this is hard!

Vlogging round one.

A never ending cycle.

And my life continues……

I know most of my blogs have been on this whole “men aint shit” type of vibe. But literally it is just a trend in my life, I swear. Like everywhere I turn some dude is approaching me, and I’m not trying to block my blessing  or anything but  then boom. God is like watch out for the Devil. Like okaaaaaaaaay. I get it. But sheesh they are comin’ in thick lately.

So there was this guy, he apparently found me on tinder. However he messaged me on Instagram like “Hey pretty girl, how are you. Super random lol but i actually bumped into you on tinder but I’m neeeeeever on.” Ok. so first of all I had never seen his face nor his name. And his name was unique enough that I would remember swiping past it. So I was most definitely caught off guard because my insta is NOT connected to my tinder, actually nothing is connected to my tinder profile. I didn’t want people snooping around all my other profiles. What they saw on tinder is what they got, if they were interested cool, otherwise *shrugs* Moving on…… I was at work at the time i received this message so I didn’t reply for like 8 hours or something and I was like “ohhhh gotcha but you found my insta?”

Here is where it get interesting. In the 8 hour time frame, I received a random text that said “hey yo did someone get you appt to come into the shop” Once again caught off guard like what????? I respond like uhm no, I think you have the wrong number. He goes “oh my bad, this number was in my call log and I just wanted to check and see if you got an appt. ” Lol at this point I am still a little lost, and I respond with I wouldn’t need to come in and get a cut, I think your confused.

Sorry for all the side bars here…. So while I was bored at work, I go look into this dudes Instagram check out what he looks like, and what he does, all this stuff. Not thinking of it having any relation to the texts I’m currently getting. Come to find out this man has a barbershop, in the town close to where I live. So now I’m intrigued if the person texting me is the person trying to message me on IG……. AND if so, how tf he got my number.

I’m doing my own investigation of  a man I don’t even know and I’m damn near doing my own investigation on myself, seeing if I really got all this personal information on my tinder or my IG. Cause at this point I am slightly concerned.

So, found out that I in fact, DID NOT have my instagram connected to my tinder. This dude just went on his merry way searching for my IG, by my name or something I assume…. which was oddly weird to me. And then I found out that since I connected my blog to my IG that the “contact me and email me” buttons that they put on your IG, actually link to your phone number. Now in my defense, obviously I knew that people would be able to contact me. BUT I didn’t think I had put my phone number on my IG profile, So I just thought that button was for nothing. I connected my email incase anyone wanted to ask questions about my blog or give suggestions. But I did not pay attention to the contact me. Turns out….. when you clicked on the contact me, it pops up my phone number to “Call or text”

So while I was dumbfounded that I didn’t know I was putting my phone number out there for the world, I also had a stupid “light bulb” start flashing on my head. The random number I had texting me was a barber asking me if I had an appt made, and what are the chances that the dude messaging me on IG owns a barbershop. Like boyyyyyyy you think you slick, trying to just slide in my messages like “idk how I got this number” WHAT. Anyway this dude texts me back and again says sorry about the confusion, not sure how this number got in my call logs.

At this point in my life, with new people coming and going, they all get the most blunt version of me to ever exist. Because if I have learned anything about myself these last five years, I sometimes don’t stand up for myself and I normally don’t say what is on my chest, when I usually should. And unfortunately for the new people entering my life, they get worst of it, cause I hardly hold anything back now.

“Because if I have learned anything about myself these last five years, I sometimes don’t stand up for myself and I normally don’t say what is on my chest, when I usually should.”

OKay back to this dude, I wasn’t about to let this man slide, and think he was slick for getting my number up off IG and then trying to play it off like he don’t know. So I reply to his text again like I’m pretty sure you do know who this is, you just weren’t sure how to start a convo. And he was like “wait now I am confused, who is this. I really don’t know how this number was in my phone, I owe a barbershop so I get tons of calls a day” I’m like this is Danette…. He freaked out, was like omg *facepalm emoji* I must have accidentally pushed your phone number button on IG and that’s why it was in my call log. I feel so stupid” blah, blah,blah, blah.

Okay so that’s how I feel about it now, blah blah blah, you think you slick. But a couple months ago, I was dying laughing like men these days are so slick and then they gotta be funny and laugh at there own stupidity and then us girls think, aw that was so cute. Like y’all WTF are we doing. This is obnoxious. Anyway so I was like dying laughing at this situation and told him he really went out of his damn way to find me and get me to have a conversation with him. Like super persistent and shit. He was like “this looks so creepy on my part” and I’m like ya just a little bit. So he goes “well I just wanted to let you know you are so beautiful, in the most non-creepy man way possible.” See how he is still being funny even tho, lowkey it was creepy. So I let it slide and kept it pushing. The next day he was messaging me on IG asking all 20 questions trying to get to know me. He was really chill, and seemed normal minus our initial encounter. So he would hit me up randomly see how I was, have a short little conversation, and then just stop replying. Like I wasn’t super pressed about it. One day he was like “yo I’m coming into town tomorrow, let’s me up.” So I was like cool name a time and place and I’ll see what I can do. He tells me time and place….. next day He doesn’t respond, nor tell me hey I’m in town. He reads my IG message and keeps it pushing so I’m like bet.

Weeks pass and I posted some pics of me promoting clothes from a boutique that I love.. which btw, here ya go. 😉 (https://bubblybleuboutique.com/) check them out. Use my code (DANETTE15) for 15%……. And the dude responds to the pic like “whats up, wyd” BOY BYE. I ain’t doin nothing. So he tries to hold a convo and then all a sudden he’s like “I wanna come see you, forreal this time. I’m leaving work now” LMAO so I send *eye rolls* and he’s like forreal, send me your address.

At this time of the day I was laying around, I had to be at work in an hour or so. And I was in no rush to get up and start getting ready for work, so that I could conveniently make time for this dude. A dude who CLEARLY did not respect my time before. So I let him know like eh today’s not a good day, and he’s like”just meet up with me….. I just wanna see you for a little bit…. do you want me to come… I can come….” blah blah . I’m like dude I don’t care if you come. I was getting a tad bit annoyed but I was like I will be at smoothie king in like 10 minutes, and then I gotta be to work in like 25 minutes. So be there or don’t lmao. He was like bet I’m on my way.

So I pull up, and he’s like inside waiting and watching out the window for me to arrive. When I walk in he comes over and hugs me and was like “what you gonna get I’ve never been here” So he gives me 20$ takes a phone call and says order what you want, and then once he got off the phone he ordered his smoothie too. SO I was like ohh okay this man is paying for my smoothie, not a huge gesture but a little. We chat for 15 minutes, had a cool little conversation. He was telling me I’m too boring to not be doing anything every night when I’m only 24. and all this and that. He starts telling me we should go to KC and see some comedy shows or go like hit up some clubs up there. I’m like ya ya, you talk this big game. Anyway we are leaving, and he goes “we should definitely meet up again” and I go “eh well you have to actually show up, for us to meet up” He like swung his head back and was like “ohhh so shots fired then, OK that’s fair” and I go well I’m just saying. And we went on our way.

So as soon as we drive off this dude messages me on IG and texts me “it was good to see you” I go ya it was nice. He then proceeds to tell me……… “you are a completely different person that I was expecting” I’m like ok?? what is that suppose to mean. He goes “no, like it’s a good thing… Texting Danette and Danette in person are two completely different people” Once again I’m like OK dude…. that doesn’t sound all that good but hey thanks. And he continues….”I’m just saying texting you, is so boring you don’t really hold a conversation well, you don’t show your personality.. but in person you are alot more colorful”

OK so at this point, this MF has really got on my nerves. I always was replying to his messages. He was the one who didn’t show up when he planned the meeting time and place. LOL and he was always the one ending the conversations by not replying. But he wanted to tell me that I sucked at texting… like what?? So lowkey I was pissed and I barely knew this man. LOL But he continued the convo and was like I liked who you are in person, because texting you I was about to stop talking to you cause you just don’t seem outgoing.

Moving forward….. he had convos with me on and off for like the next month. He would send me videos of him playing the guitar. Random texts of “you look like a whole snack” like out of no where, cause he seemed to be creepin’ on my IG every other week.

One time I was at work late and he texted me asking me all these like personal questions. I still have a pic on my IG of me and my ex when he came to my parents’ house for Easter. One is just of us holding hands and the other is him kissing me on the cheek. SO ol’ dude goes “where is “Easter bae”  is he still around or what’s going on with you guys, you looked happy.” First off, I still don’t know this dude. secondly he was always randomly looking at my pics on my profile and then he wants to bring up a picture of my ex from Easter 2 years ago. like LOL.  I tell him we just weren’t on the same page of life right now, with me wanting to get married and he wasn’t ready for that but we’re still friends. And this dude once again, tries to strike a mf nerve.  He goes ” well do you think you were wifey material, I’m just saying” like the audacity of this mf. I go well I don’t know I feel like I am preparing myself daily to learn my ins and outs. So then He send me this long blow out text about… here you go y’all word for words, cause you know I got to keep receipts… “I think that’s what I see most from guys and girls. Sub-par bitches demanding excellence. Dude be the same way thou… IG has fucked the game up. Everybody looking for that dime, who most of the time ain’t worth shit… Lol i’m not saying that’s you, we all peak at different times. but it’s a learning process and you have to be willing to grow to that point. Most dudes don’t know wth they really want, sometimes as a woman it takes patience and even guidance but who knows…. just talkin”

So I’m like ooooooh ok mister philosopher. You sound smart, since you always creepin on IG, sounds like your the one not knowing what you want and just looking for a “dime” So again we still chatted on and off nothing serious, he randomly would text asking to do breakfast or do drinks but my hours were so random, I never met up with him again.

Fast forward…….. I take a trip to Denver with my girls, we were out and about. Went to a concert that weekend and then hit up a club. My girl, she is fine as a dime lemme tell y’all. She has a whole kid. My sweet god daughter. (hearts) Anywho, she has a whole kid and her body is still snatched, she obviously was posting pics all weekend of her and us and all that. yada yada. On Sunday when we were driving home, she randomly asked me, girl do you know who this dude is, he’s been trying to message me and it says he follows you. SO I look over and low and behold…… THIS DUDE.. LMAO. Ok I am not pressed cause I really wasn’t messing with him like that nor was I too interested, he was occupying some of my time but nothin serious. So yes it was the barber dude messaging her. Saying ALLLLLLL the same shit. “Girl you a whole snack… why you so fine…. what’s up girl” He was looking real thirsty and all that. Lol so y’all should probably sit down for this next little TEA I am about to spill.

“…..y’all should probably sit down for this next little TEA I am about to spill.”

I had seen this girl post heart eyes under his picture a few weeks prior…. and like the next day when I was scrolling through IG, I had saw the comment was gone.. LOL now when I am bored I will investigate every dudes pictures see where these girls from blah blah. Follow some new random girls that look fine as hell, so I can get myself motivated to get fit again, LMAO anyway.  If my girl wants some dirt on her new boo, I got her in no time. So I look into this girls profile and it is protected. I message my home girl and tell her to look into it. She didn’t really find much. But now back to Denver roadtrip. My other girl that was in the back of the car…  asked for the girl’s name and found her on Facebook in less than 5 minutes. Like BITCH. she is better than me. LOL
SO…. y’all ready.

This isn’t some random girl commenting under this dudes picture.. She had the same last name for a MF reason. Yes, honeyssssss. You read that right, SAME last name. THIS DUDE…… has a whole ass MF wife. He has been married for two years. To this beautiful girl. She is gorgeous. And by the looks of the girls Facebook they had been together longggg before they got married so. We are back to my trend…. Men really ain’t shit!! Like this dude was not only trying to get on with me, meet up, hold conversations, get personal… BUT he was trying to do the same to my best friend. Like BOY what. He was a whole ass hoe. and a MARRIED one at that.

So I go ahead and screenshot the pictures of his wedding day with his beautiful wife and send them over to his phone, and LOL tell this dude “treat her better” I wanted to cuss this MF out because like he is literally what is wrong with this generation, and he tried to tell me maybe I wasn’t wife material. Like you are married and ain’t even acting like a damn husband. But he replies back….. LOL…… He has the audacity to reply “Yeah… I stopped talking to you for a reason. Sorry”

LIKE WHAT! LOFUCKINGL. As if he just got married two months ago or some shit and oops he just happen to slip up and text me for a couple months. And then on top of that, message my best friend the same shit. Like I was dead. I really was in shock that all these crazy ass situations keep happening to me. Like I really do not understand why I keep running into these trash men. So after this incident I deleted my tinder for good. There cannot be any good men to come from this stupid app. SO BYE TO TINDER.

 

More lessons to be learned. I have learned I really need to invest more in myself. More than I ever have before because, this dude like literally had me questioning who tf I was. Like am I really that bad of a texter? I swore all these other people in my life really sucked but shit maybe it is me. He had me questioning… If I was the problem.  Like I barely knew this man and he had me question who tf I was. So I definitely decided that there will not be another man getting my investment or time. Cause honestly it is good to be put in your place, and have help to learn about yourself. But I think it is more helpful and necessary to do it by yourself and not by some random dude judging me.

OK whew, that’s been on my chest for some time now. Lol hope y’all enjoy my daily mess of trash men. And continue to join the movement of, Men ain’t shit. Until we find some dream come true man. LOL

Thanks for reading, The Chaos y’all it means the world to me! Happy fourth! 🙂
XOXO.

 

 

Sorry for the…. Delay

Hello Lovely’s

I know I’ve been neglecting you all and my joy of writing for that matter. But toooo much has been going on I couldn’t find five minutes to sit down and write.

Your girl went ahead and bossed up. Found a job working in an Ortho Clinic that I love. Seriously have been enjoying every minute of it, including dressing myself in business cas like everyday. And I had to go ahead and get my certification in Mammography. You know so I can go ahead and save the tatas! So I’ve been MIA adapting to all the new environment and studying my ass off for my boards.

 

Meanwhile…… all my other life has not slowed down what so ever. So just wanted to give y’all a little update on my life and a new story will be coming your way. Because apparently the devil and men never rest a day in their life. They are always out trying to ruin somebody’s life.

With that being said, Stay tuned. Promise it will be out for y’all to read soon. 🙂

For now, enjoy The Chaos of your own lives. XOXO.

Red Flags are a thing.

The first tinder story has arrived.

Since you last heard from me, I’ve had a few matches on tinder. Conversations were pretty blah. But getting to have conversations with new people is kinda cool I guess. Yeah no, I lied. New people in general is just really not my thing. Like I’m super awkward, terrible at maintaining conversations, not uber into talking about myself. NOT that I don’t like me, cause I’m pretty obsessed with myself. But yea i’m weird so the whole chatting with new people normally doesn’t go very well.

Anywho so, most of the matches just wanted to hook up which I ignored because I’m not that bored with my life to entertain it. Some tried to invite themselves over to watch a movie with me just cause I told them I was watching one. Like excuse you SIR, I was stating a fact, not telling you to invite yourself. Those matches faded quickly. And the others well held enough conversations without me ruining it or them.

“…. some of these stories may seem crazy because I was on some pain meds, but SWEAR they really did happen.”

So on to match #1, he gave himself a quick intro. I told him I was hanging out at the coffee shop and he was like lets go get ice cream or something tonight and then went right in and asked for my number. I gave it to him. MISTAKE numero uno. He didn’t open that message til like 2 hours later so about midnight. **side note** I had just had shoulder surgery in this time frame so I was barely awake for most of the day and my bedtime was usually 8pm.** SO to say less, some of these stories may seem crazy because I was on some pain meds, but SWEAR they really did happen. regardless of my loopyness.**

OKay back to the action. This dude, texts me and was like “yo my bad totally didn’t see your message lets meet up and do something.” I am dead asleep so I didn’t reply. He calls me. Texts again like “we can go eat ice cream or whatever you want, you there?” AND THIS DUDE…. calls me again. I wake up the next morning like waitaminute. Why he so crazy? RED FLAG number one.

So that was most definitely a red flag, but I was like maybe he’s chill. I’ll do a short little lunch that’s casual or ya know. I didn’t wanna miss my blessing or anything. HAHA

SO the next day, he was all like ya lets go to IHOP at like noon, Ill pick you up. I had to shower and being that I have one functional arm, I knew it would take some time. blah blah He came by and picked me up, strongly don’t suggest giving strangers your number or riding in the same car with them. BUT hey I was naive. lol I get in the car and he was WAY more awkward than me. Didn’t think that was even possible but lemme tell you. It was bad so I asked where he was from all the main “get to know someone” questions. He had a really strong accent and turns out he was from Ghana. What are my odds. but moving on we are answering questions.

Some where in the questions he asked my fav restaurant in town, which is Texas roadhouse and he was like well lets go there. Which is totally fine with change of plans, I’m flexible and stuff. MISTAKE number two. Then he was being super weird and trying to make me laugh and leaning over and like nudging me on the arm. And he was saying weird things like, “oh you had to shower with one arm, I bet that was hard. Did you need any help? Help to scrub the place on your back?” LIKE…. What in the F. Bro slow your role.  So we were headed to Roadhouse and had been in the car maybe 5 minutes, not even… we were stopped at a stop light, and this mf turns to me and goes “so what do you want from this?”

Soooo back to me being awkward, I literally sit in silence for a minute and he goes what is it, like why are you on tinder? I go I’m just looking to meet new people that’s all and he goes ohhh thats it? YEP THAT’S IT. In my head, all I hear is ABORT, abort, abort, abort, like JUMP out the car with my one arm. Then he says Was that too much? I’m like yea but your free to ask questions – I’m not here to jump into a future so thats that. RED FLAG number two.

We get to Roadhouse, we get out the car and he tries to get handsie and put his arm around me as we’re walking in the parking lot, I go uh no and walk farther out from him. He looked at me really strangely like, was that not okay? RED FLAG number 3.

The torture continues…… There was a wait, so I go let’s just eat at the bar, so we get up there and he orders a beer and I get water, he looks at me and goes “you don’t drink?” I go “yes I do.” BUT it’s noon and I’m good. Plus I knew I was on pain meds so I didn’t need to mix anything lol. then the bartender asks if we’re ready to order, I go yeah and he looks at me with shock. He goes “wait I thought we were just getting drinks and waiting to be seated.” “I go no, these seat here are at the bar are fine.” I could easily see the game and have plenty of ways to avoid conversation with you. LOL I was most definitely ready to leave before we even got in the restaurant. But since we rode togetherrrrrrrr, I had no way of backing out.

The best is yet to come…….

So conversation was still going. KINDA. and man, when I tell you I thought we were actually having normal conversation and then BLOOP. The tide turns, he goes “do you have any kids”, I go “nope do you?” and he goes “nope, its hard to find someone these days who don’t have kids.” I go ya. THEN this dude decides to give no fucks, and says “so do you take birth control?” RED FLAG number 4

HOLD UP…. in my head, I was like no, he didn’t really ask me that. So I ignored it  being my awkward self and like started to browse the restaurant, there was a kid doing the birthday “yeehaw” thing so I was watching that… BUT i was mistaken that I could some how avoid his questions,  and he apparently couldn’t resist.

HE ASKS ME AGAIN… as if I for some odd reason i did NOT hear him. So I flat out told him “oh I heard you the first time. But yes.” He goes “I was just asking to see if you were taking precautions not to have kids.” like OH okay, i must have misinterpreted your reason for asking. But then he says “so are you on birth control now?” I stare at him like that is none of your business. We are at mf lunch! In public, during the broad daylight, NOT out for drinks, nor did I come over to your house. Nope none of that. LUNCH. Apparently lunch is not casual anymore. So he goes “was that too personal.” ??? EXCUSE ME. I’ve literally told you my name and small random facts. PERSONAL. you passed that, and hour ago. So “let’s chill out with all that.”  He goes “sorry, that’s just who I am.” Fair.

We are finally done eating we get back in the car and he’s like “where to now?” **On a normal day, I would be napping by noon already so.** I definitely needed a way out so, I go “I’m tired so I’m gonna go home and nap.” Thanks. And he goes “well I was gonna see if you wanted to come over and we could watch a movie or play xbox.” I was like “no thanks, I think i’ll nap.” He was like “well you can come over and nap at my place.” I LITERALLY WANTED TO SCREAM… NO THANKS. But I just told him again “no please take me home.” Is it really that hard for you boys to catch a clue?? like if I’m into you, you will know and not have to force anything. Im just sayin’      yup you guessed it, RED FLAG number 5….

So we got back to my house.. And he unbuckles his seat belt………. blooop NO. I open the door and go “okay well thanks see ya.” He goes “well don’t be a stranger,” and I shut the door.

Now, I haven’t been on a “date” if that’s what we are calling it. *eye roll* in a long time but…. I’m pretty sure they are supposed to go alot easier than this one. Pretty much I have decided that the dating world is not for me. Like I was in shock the whole time that someone I DON’T KNOW wanted to ask me…. like one of the most personal questions there is out there.  I was looking to go on a normal, casual conversation date, but with my life I should have known that wouldn’t have happened. Now, some of my friends mentioned that maybe he just went the extra mile to take you out before asking for sex, or wanted to pay for your lunch so then I owed him something. Which BTW, I paid for my own lunch because I wanted to avoid the whole “owing” him something.

Literally I took the rest of the afternoon to relax my brain because I couldn’t believe that this was my life. Is this just the dating “norm” in this generation?  Anywho I did kinda feel like maybe there was a culture difference that he hadn’t quite adapted too but… Why give boys excuses for their behavior. like the questions he had.. were they really all that necessary?? no. He had no reason to ask me those questions unless I was in his bedroom about to do something more with him.

 

Welp, there was the craziness one, and although I felt like it was a nightmare, I learned quite a few things..

TIPS:

*MEET UP WITH THEM >>Drive separate cars to wherever you are meeting. You can leave whenever you want, You have control of the time you spend or DON’T spend.

*BE TRANSPARENT >> have the conversation of what you are “here” for BEFORE you meet up with them. This will more times than not, help you avoid awkward conversations in person, and they may not waste your time on meeting up LOL

*TALK FOR MORE THAN A DAY>> the more you vibe through conversation, maybe it’ll be easier in person or you will atleast know more about them *not 100% on this yet, haven’t tested my theory.*

*ALWAYS TELL SOMEONE YOU KNOW, that you are going out with a stranger>> I made it home safely, but there are stories where some girls don’t. Have a friend check in every 20 minutes to see how it’s going. SAFETY first ladies.

 

 

 

IF you are all wondering….

Nope I have not went out on another date from Tinder or Bumble, taking a break from the craziness that is apparently attracted to me. Oh and haha I have heard from match #1 since, so that’s a blessing.

Stay tuned for more of The Chaos, literally.

And hey, be kind and hit the subscribe button. XOXO.

 

Dating 2018.. Tinder over Bumble

Phew what a topic to discus.

It’s everywhere, dating has completely changed – blah blah. And I can definitely stand behind the statement. But I don’t usually push the subject or complain, because dating is what it is AND men are going to be men, as will women.

So here I am dealing with it. OR not so much. I am taking baby steps, because I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for dating someone new right now.

Small background of my dating life. *LOL* I was in a relationship for the past five years, well if I’m being honest -in and  mostly out. But anywho that was the majority of my 20’s. And now I’m out of the college lifestyle -where going to classes and meeting new people and all that fun stuff. So to say less, I’m not in forced social settings now. Not that I missed out on meeting new people BUT now that I’m back “in” the dating scene, I don’t have as easy of chance to meet new people. I have to actively get out and about, and be open and vocal when I am out so. To be honest my chances are slim, because I am a introvert and super shy around people I don’t know. Let’s just say even if I find a guy super attractive, 9 times out of 10 I won’t even say Hi. BUT that’s just me and I am perfectly okay with it. Lately though, alot of my friends have really been bugging me to get out there, look at the options. So here we are.

“… because I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for dating someone new right now. “

Online Dating……

Hear me out… I’m not all about online dating especially all these “dating” apps. But I have ventured out a little and am currently testing some. I still strongly have this place in my heart where I want to meet “my future husband” the old fashion way. In person – like a grocery store, or at the mall, or anywhere in public. But with me being me, chances are I would never say hello to anyone and the dudes that do say something to me, it’s probably cause they are looking a little too much. Which isn’t what I want so — to the apps I go. *eye roll*

Bumble.

If you are like me, you had no idea this app was even a thing. Well, I was introduced to this app by my friend from California. She hasn’t had a ton of luck, but she has had plenty of fun looking. And her stories are just as good as mine. LOL So *shrugs* Okay I really only tested it for a few weeks. And I could not count the amount of times I swiped left. like…… No, no, no, no, no, no…. and more no. It may just be me; but like I hard core judge off appearance, cause being honest, how else are you to swipe right if they aren’t cute… like pictures are all the app really is and half the time the “intros” these dudes put are just so obnoxious, I don’t waste my time reading them. And maybe Manhattan has some ugly dudes or maybe I am just super picky – Either way lol I finally got to a point where I had no idea why I was even on this app. Okay let me back up… There were a crap ton of pretty, pretty white boys.. like cute frat boys. But I’m not into frat boys, just something about their demeanor, it is not the move. I don’t want an arrogant or cocky man… no thanks. I do want an attractive man BUT not a super sexy man that E.V.E.R.Y. single women that sees him, can’t stop herself from wanting to say hello, or can’t keep her hands off him. Like eh, no. I want my man to be mine, without all the competition. Any who back to Bumble – so I finally decided there were some cute-ish guys so I decided swipe right.

Bloop… here’s the catch of this app. The app is like women based – because Women have to make the first move. If you match with someone, the girl has 24 hours to message them or your match goes away.. Like what kind of shit is that? haha (sorry excuse my language) So then the app will remind you – “you have 4 hours before your match is gone…. forever.” ummm okay,  it’s not that serious. But I decided to give in and and message first.. so I said hello. AND THIS DUDE, *eye rolls* replies at like 1am with a gif. And the gif………. is a dude screaming underwater. Like he said nothing else just sent the gif. WHAT???? This could just be me, being dramatic but that was like may last straw. I deleted the app. DONE.

incase you need a image.

Now, if I have to give positive feedback about it. They have a great idea – allowing the girls to put themselves out there and really start a relationship off the right way. Also they have different versions that you can change the app too. There is “Bumble bff” where you can find girlfriends that have the same interests as you and you can make new friends. Which is super cool – like if you moved to a whole different city and didn’t know anyone – this would be an easy way to meet up with someone for coffee, make new friends easier lol.

Honestly this app has potential to make me a strong independent women, go out and make the first move. I’d rather be a strong, independent women WITHOUT making the first move. LOL  Cause I’m already  putting myself out there – that’s expecting alot more from me. Like yes I am a bad bitch but nope, I still won’t make the first move. Y’all men still need to do all that extra stuff to get ME to fall in-love lol.

Tinder.

Moving on. So after I deleted Bumble, I was pretty much on the mindset that, I put enough effort out there and that was just way too much for me. I kind of had this stigma that Tinder was just setting me up for all these thirsty ass college dudes just looking to have a one night hook up. And I just really wasn’t in the stage where I even wanted to waste time entertaining these type of boys. Once again one of my close friends told me over dinner, that yes there are quite a few of those boys on tinder that are thirsty but if you just ignore all those messages – you will find a few cute, nice, genuine guys that will take you out and get to know you. So again – I was talked into getting a profile started. And her luck is just rolling in because she has already went on 8 dates and has 2 more planned.

Good news for tinder verses Bumble – is so far regardless of every 100 + boys I swipe left on, there is about 2 that are sexy enough to swipe right. haha.  Downfall of this,  these men are F.I.N.E. so like if they ever were potential boyfriends, well, there would be plenty other women drooling over him. And trust me – I don’t want all that. I had myself a sexy little dude and he had way too many little followers crushin’ and it’s just alot. So yes I do want a fine man but maybe if he is only fine to me. Is there a happy medium for fine men?? I feel like there isn’t BUT a girl can dream.

I have also decided through this experience that I suck at dating. And would rather skip over this step but I do want to get married and have a family and all the lovey dovey stuff.  I suppose I’ll stay in the dating scene since I still dream of having it all. LOL And good luck to y’all with your dating!

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