For the LOVE of your Soul.

With “Mental Health Awareness month” coming to a close I want to reflect with you all. 

First let’s start with those struggling.

We are all struggling, some more than others. Some don’t even realize they are struggling because they have been living with “this mess” for far to long. Others, you may continue to wake up every morning and sit in your sorrow or whatever the case is, you know where you are in your journey and you know where you would like to be. Do not let this stop you from waking up every morning. Do not let this stop you from doing the best YOU can. 

Do not let the struggle defeat you. You are strong, and you are capable. 

Do not let others tell you what is normal and what is not.

There is “a standard” but by all means you do not have to measure to that.

None of us were created the same. In God’s vision in his eyes we are all unique which means everyone’s mental health is different, should be different, and will be different.

I can not compare my health, to my brothers, or my sister; because we are not the same -regardless if we all grew up in the same household. You are different, your health should be treated different.

You may think you need therapy, others may not. OR others may think you need therapy, and you may not. See that’s the beauty, it is your life, you get to choose what is best for you, what is best for your mental health. Some of you, your therapy is the gym, or doing a hobby. While others of you going to therapy is therapy. I want to congratulation all of you though for realizing what helps you be strong mentally. But I also want to keep pushing you to grow and realize what is Not good for you mentally. Grow, Learn, and explore- keep fighting to complete your journey.

Do not compare where you are, to where someone else is. 

I want you all to allow yourself to realize where you are right now, in your mental health, or in your life. You are doing the best you can with what you have. Which is amazing, you are doing great. Regardless if you feel that you are not, you are! If you ask others in your life how they are doing, they may admire where you are- or how you are taking on your life situations. Meanwhile you may be admiring others. But please realize that your journey is just that, YOURS. 

“Which is amazing, you are doing great. “

Keep fighting

Fight the fight. Wake up everyday, breathe, say a prayer and thank God for allowing this day to be a gift. Later in the day, it may seem as if this day is no longer a gift, BUT realize God does not give battles to those who cannot fight them.

So for the Love of your Soul…..

Connect with your inner self. Find love for yourself. Wake up every morning and smile, even if that is a small victory. Find people in your life that help strengthen you and show you love all the time no matter where you are in your journey. Start a routine, find a new hobby, learn to love aspects of you’re life you never have.

Find peace while conquering your chaos, because after all it is YOURS. 

And for all of you who cannot, I realize it is much deeper than you can handle. It may not be in the grip of your hands. I ask you to pray. Pray that God guides you in the dark until you see the light. For he is the one who can help save you.

Here are a few of my favorite scriptures to help guide you.

Thanks for reading!

You all made it through May. You made it through the school year. Keep pushing, you’re doing amazing. I love you all. 

XOXO.

Oh Valentine’s.

February Fourteenth.

A date everyone is either annoyed with or dreaming of in every detail. Being 25 I have learned along the way the importance of this day and how to go about it single or in a relationship. This year Valentine’s was on a Thursday, so for adults just another day of the work week. And for single adults – just another normal night at home, alone.

Last year I wasn’t uber depressed about being single and “alone” on that wonderful Wednesday. I decided to embrace the day or week as every other week && choosing to love myself the best way I know possible. But this year things have changed a little, so I get to enjoy the other end of the spectrum. 🙂

But for those of you who are still single….. Here are a few ways to love Valentine’s and to spread the Love instead of hating the day.

Be a secret admirer.

For someone you know probably needs it more than you. Last year, I left a note in one my coworkers work locker, just a simple note and some homemade cookies. She was going through a divorce and I cannot even imagine the pain she is experiencing so I decided to do a small thing that would make her feel loved. And it did, she was so surprised and she actually said she never had received a valentine’s before. I made a small gesture that made a big impact on her day and probably week. AND she deserved it too. So send your best friend a card, or call your momma, or have lunch with your papa. Share love with your family, your friends. This day is about love – and it doesn’t have to be with a significant other!

Buy yourself the damn flowers.

You do NOT have to wait for a man to come along to get you the flowers you want. LOVE YOURSELF! However I live on a budget, lol. So I do not suggest buying yourself the 50$ bouquet of roses, unless you really wanna spoil yourself. *shrugs* your choice of course! I wait a few days and buy the left over flowers at target. I paid $5 for a bouquet that was $25. And yes they were a little under watered BUT put them in vase with water and boom – as beautiful as ever ! & let me tell ya my purpleish bouquet of roses were stunning.

Enjoy Love from those who love YOU.

You do not need a MAN. When you have family who love you, friends who love you and Yourself. Let’s be honest – you have YOU. And there is no one better for you than…. You. Surprise! If you don’t live close to any family or friends – then take time for yourself on this lovely day, or any day for that matter. Self- Love has become a big topic for a reason, and if you haven’t taken it seriously – I strongly suggest you do.

So… confession. Most of this was actually wrote a year ago. Now I am happily in a relationship and boy was I spoiled this year. I know not everyone gets to enjoy this holiday with someone, but last year I really embraced loving myself as I think everyone should. Enjoy the day of Love!

Anywho, I hope everyone spends this Valentines happily in love with themselves and their life. And if you do get to be spoiled by your significant other, take time to actually enjoy each other. Love yours.

XOXO.

12:12am

Here’s to being extremely vulnerable with this blog.

 

I’m one of those girls. Just like every other 20 some year old girl, you know the one who has been heart broken. Whose heart has been damaged. I’ve been through it, experienced more heart break than I would have ever thought I would have to. Many optimistic people say “it will get better…. the one who deserves you will find you” “it will all be worth it”  All the cliche shit. It gets old trust me I know, I have heard more than enough of it. But then the other side, the pessimists come in and tell you
“there is alot more heartache coming your way, you’re only 25.” “You’re still young, there are so many men to meet and ones who will hurt you”

Personally screw that. Both of those cases sound terrible. I don’t see happiness in either of those options. Like I don’t want to experience anymore pain. Whether that is heart break, emotional, or mental confusion. I just don’t want to go through it again. Which is why I think I am being so picky lately. Picky with the people in my life, with the people who get my time. Picky with who I choose to spend time with or choose to hold a conversation with. I have put so much effort into relationships and people that never gave HALF of that effort back to me. Do you know how hard it is, at the end of the day to fill yourself back up after you have just poured it all out for someone else? Just to get none of that back, it is exhausting. Constantly pouring out, and then attempting to refill it all by yourself. It is draining; mentally, emotionally, and physically. And it is not a healthy way to live.

Relationships really have to be two, separate people. “Two souls joined as one.” Like each person has to be their own person. Someone else should not be coming into your life to complete you. You should want someone to better YOU, join you in your journey, not be your journey.

Honestly after all the hurt, I would say I am so focused on me, just me. Focused on my own journey and where I am going.  And once you find YOU. Once you re-focus and set your mind on you and only you, it is so freeing. I know some of y’all know what I mean cause you have probably been there. Put your focus on someone else, worried where they were going and what was next for them. Or what was next for you as a couple. Always being selfless and thinking of them before yourself.

The best thing I did for myself is stop being so focused on someone else. Someone becoming my husband, or the father of the children I want. I stopped praying that my husband would walk in and we could get this marriage life started. I stopped dreaming of having everything I want, RIGHT NOW. And just started to enjoy my own life. Life with myself. Now I’m stopping to smell the roses, taking deep breaths, realizing I have time. And amazingly I am learning more of my ins and out. Learning what I bring to the table as a woman, a wife, a mother.

“You see your best potential when you focus on yourself and no one else.”

The sooner I focus on myself, the sooner I start to create the best me and become the best woman and wife I need to be. Then and only then will God bring me a man worth my time. A man who wants the same things I want. Until then, it is all about me and God. I know the whole “independent woman” thing has kind of been played out. It’s always been more of a cliche idea that every woman should strive to be. But if were being honest, It really is the truth. You see your best potential when you focus on yourself and no one else. When it’s just you, and you mess up, that blame is on you. You create the disappointment and then you grow from it. You learn to set a higher standard for yourself. No one else is responsible for your own growth , and that alone is an amazing feeling.

I am no where near the woman I need to be or want to be. BUT that is the beauty of it. You determine your own growth and how far you still need to go. No one else is determining your worth, what you should be, or where you should be. It really is a crazy journey and seriously I have never loved learning more about myself. Who I am, and who I am becoming, I am learning to love ME. I have become a stronger woman already with this mentality. I know I still have weak points, and people but I am still working and growing.

Now is the time to Love Yourself, when your 18, 22, 26, shoot even 40. You deserve to learn what loving yourself feels like. If you know how to love yourself correctly. You will hold a much higher standard to others who are in your life or those who come into your life. People cannot love you less than you deserve if you hold them to the same standard you hold yourself. So here is to: self love, growth, strength, wisdom, and becoming the best version of myself, for myself!

I truly hope this finds its way to someone needing that extra push. You got this girl. The best you is inside of you right now, you just have to let her fly.

XOXO.

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more from The Chaos.