Black lives DO Matter.

I’m not even sure this is my place to speak or share. Or maybe it is. I am not sure, but what I do know it’s on my heart. And my heart is heavy.

I’ve been hesitant to post but God has been pulling my heart ties for several days.

I honestly think it needs to be said. It needs to be heard. It needs to be read over and over again. My voice doesn’t need to be heard but those of the Black community do need to be heard.

Black lives matter.


They do. Each and Every single one.

Just like your life matters, yes you. Whoever is reading this. Your life matters.

And it’s not saying white lives don’t matter, or Asian lives, or Muslim lives or whoever else’s lives “don’t matter”. That’s NOT the point.

The point is, and has been- Black lives matter!

And if you aren’t grasping that at this time in life, if you aren’t simplying trying to understand that, then you are a part of the problem.

“The point is Black Lives Matter.”

They have always mattered, but no one seems to share and show the same respect for their race. And Why is that? Really ask yourself why?

Black lives are continuously being senselessly taken. By policemen, by undercover cops, by white supremacists, etc.

Their lives are being taken for no reason other than the color of their skin.

There are so many scenarios, so many videos, so many hashtags.


There are too many stories and headlines that are miss worded. Worded to look as if authority had “a right to kill these black men and women”

They don’t.

These black men and women, deserved to live! They had a right to life. A right to go for a run, a right to go to the grocery store. A right to exist.

Read it again.

“A right to exist.”

Racism exists. I don’t experience it myself, but I see it. I hear it. I notice it.

It’s wrong. It’s been wrong. People need to wake up. And show love and respect for their race. Black people, Black lives, Black humans. Just like they would for anyone else. Because they are just that HUMANS. We are all just that, Humans!

God made humans. All humans. Of every color and race. He loves them. He loves them all. And so should we, so should everyone else.

We need to love one another as our own. We need to give support. A lending hand, a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, or be a body that shows up!!

God did not make one human or race better than the other. We are all created EQUAL in the eyes of God.

Genesis 5:1-2

In no way, is this world doing the same. In no way is everyone being loved and respected the same. We are not treating all humans, all humans that God created as equal.

In no way are we treating the African American race as they are Equal. They are Americans. They are humans.

We need to Do better. Be better.

Be kind. Show love. Show compassion.

Black people are being suppressed, they are being killed. While we sit back and watch. We are sad and upset. We are shocked and confused. But then no one stands up for them. No one shows up and does anything.

We retweet. We share hashtags. We repost the video or post by a celebrity.

But are we actually trying to find ways to change the problem?

Are we actually looking for a solution?

How about talking to your legislature about police officers not getting paid leave when such events happen? Calling your senators and forcing them to take action.

Forcing our government to look. To pay attention and to do actually do something about it! Not just give it media attention.

Sign the petitions. Text the number. Donate money. Go to protests. Stand tall, protect their community! Show that you are a part of their community and support their efforts to make a change!

Their families, deserve closure. They deserve better. They deserve to know that people care about their lost loved ones.

I am livid. I am sad. I am upset and mad. I am experiencing a ton of emotions. But you know who have way more emotions?

The black population. The people who have to actually experience this happening. The families, the loved ones- of those killed, murdered.

I am experiencing this from an outside lense. An outside view. I am not in it, I am not living in that fear. I am not experiencing first hand the discrimination, the racism.

For those people in it. For those living in fear, I am almost positive their emotions are 100x worse than mine. I am so sorry for all the hurt you have experience in the years of oppression.

It is so sad that this is the world you have to live in. My heart breaks for you- it hurts and aches even though I do not feel it to the depths you have to experience it.

Turning on the news or opening their feed and seeing yet another Black life taken. Seeing another case dismissed. Seeing no justice being given. Seeing no care, love, or respect being shown for their race, for their family, for their children, mothers, fathers, for their people!

We have to stand up for them. We have to speak up, we have to show up. White privilege is real and we need to start using it for good!

We need to start respecting them. We need to start loving them as our own, as your own.

People will comment and say “well what about white lives” “what about the good cops” “what about the protest and riots” “what about this” “or that”


Are white people being suppressed? Are they being killed by cops for no reason? Are they getting hunted down for going on a run? Are the good cops taking a stand against their racist co workers?

No. They simply aren’t. We are living this normal American life. Going out and about, doing whatever we please with no worry about much of anything.

Are all cops bad? No. THATS NOT THE POINT. Do all lives matter, yes BUT THATS NOT THE POINT. The point again and again is that the world has shown that Black lives don’t matter enough… and they NEED TO! So until we recognize and start showing that BLACK LIVES MATTER, then nothing else needs to be addressed.

Black Lives Matter!

There is no “but” to the conversation. There is no “what about this” it’s not about you. It’s not about this or that. It’s simply about Black Lives Matter and they need to be shown the same respect every single day as white people are given with no thought.

We need to wake up and see it for what it is. We need to start loving each and everyone around us all as if they are God’s people. Because guess what, they are!

We need to start acknowledging the racism as it is. See if for how their race sees and experiences it. Not for how it is “not affecting us”

That is white privilege, thinking well it’s not directing affecting me. So I don’t need to worry about it or do anything about it. THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!

We need to have uncomfortable conversions with other white people. With white people who still show racism openly or privately. We need to call them out! Stand up and tell them it’s wrong.

It time to change things. Not just sit back and continuing to watch it happen again and again.

Carlos Rodriguez said this: “ “I see no color” is not the goal. I see your color and I honor you. I value your input. I will be educated about your lived experiences. I will work against racism that harms you. You are beautiful. Tell me how to do better. That is the goal.”

That. That is exactly what Americans. Exactly what white people need to do. White people need to acknowledge their color, their race and honor them. Love them.

So Start by Loving one another.

“Love one another as I have loved you.”

John 13:34

Pray. Pray for those affected. Pray for change. Pray for justice. Pray, pray, pray.

And then find some way to show up. Find some way to to be a part of the solution, not the problem.

Say something when you see it. SPEAK UP! Pay attention, call people out of their shit. Tell them to love one another and not create the hatred. Tell them it’s 2020, and the person next to them was created the exact same way they were. That God loves you and much as the person next to you.

Things won’t be fixed over night. Things won’t be fixed at all if we each don’t do our part to fix the problem. To finding the solution— but first realize and acknowledge there is a problem.

Because there is a problem.

And it is time that we finally start doing something about it, instead of waiting for the next person to make the first step.

Below are a few ways to educate yourself. Few ways to help start the chain reaction for change. There are a ton of references out there to start the change. There are a ton of resources out there to help. Find something that hits you right in your chest and go do something about it.

Be the change.

Thanks for reading. Share if you’d like. Reach out to those in need. Show love and Love one another.

** Again my voice is not what needs to be heard, the Black community is who needs to be heard!!**

God bless you all. And may God bring peace to those who are hurting. And to those protesting be safe! We love you. We support you!



More resources and education:

If I am missing any resources that are in need of attention, please comment or email and I will add to this post! Thanks.

Easter Sunday


I hope last night you were all able to digest all that God had given to us. His sacrifice. Jesus. The crucifixion.

If not. Don’t worry, I wasn’t able to digest it all either. It’s a process. And something I’m not sure I will ever be able to completely understand. But for me that is the Joy of every Lent. I get to revisit this. Every year.

And every year I grow in my faith, I get to focus on something new about Easter.

This is what I love about Faith.

About religion in general. You never reach a full understanding -which means growth. It means you can never stop learning. That there is always more to learn. More to understand.

That is truly amazing to me.

Anywhooooo… back to Easter Sunday.

Things and ways to keep you focused on Easter, on God and all he has given us. And Focus on the amazing celebration God has provided us.

***Do what you would normally do.***

For example: do you normally go to church? Yes, then find an online service. If your normal church does not have an online mass to watch, search Facebook or Google- there are a ton of churches that are live streaming their services weekly. And today will be no different. (I’ll link some below) Sit down and watch church as if you are in the actual pews. If you don’t normally go to Easter mass, maybe this year is the year to start cause it’s in the safety of your own home! I say that’s a perfect time to fully commit.

***Dress up***

Yup, you heard me. I normally dress up for Easter Mass, so today will be no different. I am going to get ready as a I normally do. I am going to plop myself on the couch. All dressed in my Easter Best with no one to see it but my sister and God. But who cares. I am going to participate, praise, and worship as if I am actually sitting in my church. After all the church building itself is not actually the church, The People are.

***Start Easter Sunday “like normal”***

I know I keep reinterating this. but seriously, God slowed down your life on purpose. He wanted us to experience Easter different this year. And it will be just that, different. You will be in your home all day. BUT- do your same routine.

That may mean for many, something totally new. Maybe you live alone? Maybe you still get to wake up to your family? It will be different for everyone.

Unfortunately I will miss waking up to my whole family. To my dad cooking breakfast, us all coming downstairs and eating and then getting ready. On off years we are up at 5, yes 5AM preparing for the Easter Pageant we hold in our home town. (I’ll link our FB page below for those who want to watch last year’s performance) On the other years we wake up late 9am or so and all go to mass together.

This year, won’t be the same. It will just be me and my sister. But atleast I have one family member to keep things close to the same. I plan to still get up and make breakfast, drink coffee and then get ready. You all should do the same.

This year will be different. You will have to find a normal in the not so normal. But take this all as a blessing. Take it as God wanting to show you something new. Something different. Slowing down and being able to enjoy and see things from a different point of view will be amazing. This year you may be able to see something that normally you would have missed out on because well, we too often are moving too fast. Going in too many different directions, We are always on the go, always on to the next place and next project.

This year will be different but JUST MAYBE, just maybe. God will show us something new, something amazing that we have missed out on.

Today I ask you to be present. To rejoice. To love. And to pray. Ask God to show you things you may have been missing out on. To show you gratitude of what you do have right now. And to be grateful of what you have been able to do in previous years.

Maybe this year is meant to show us we should not take things for granted as much as we do. That every day is a gift, that our family is a gift, that holiday, Easter, family gatherings on holidays are a GIFT. Be grateful.

But most importantly, sit and enjoy Easter. Realize what miracle God has given us. That Jesus was crucified and three days later, he rose from the dead. Say it loudly ……. and rejoice……




May God bless you all, may he provide you the peace you need during this time. Enjoy those who are around you this Easter. And thank God for all he has provided.

Church service Links|||

St. Isidore’s Student Catholic Center **9:30am CST**

Elevation Church w/ Steven Furtick

Transformation Church w/ Michael Todd **11am CST**

Easter Sunday at the Vatican w/ Pope Francis -my favorite choice- It will be Rome time so you won’t be able to catch it live.

T.D. Jakes Ministries **9am CST**

Chris Tomlin – he has an amazing Good Friday service.

Lauren Daigle – also had an amazing Good Friday service.

These are my top picks. just a few places to easily find a service to watch. There are a ton more I am sure. Just search around!

Lastly… Easter Pageant link |||

Pawnee Rock Easter Pageant – we will re share the Live of last years pageant.


Holy Saturday

Or as I refer to it as, Somber Saturday.

I would have wrote this earlier but today is meant for silence. You are supposed to spend this day in a solemn, sad, somber state. As Jesus has just died on the cross and been laid in the tomb.

His followers, believers, friends, family, all had no idea of what was to come tomorrow. They felt a very deep and heavy loss. They were confused. And I’m sure very lost at how this could have happened.

For me it is hard to feel that exact feeling or try to relate to that as I already know the outcome. But I tried to grow in my religion a little more today and to try and think differently than previous years.

Today I spend most of my day searching for a silence. Searching for slowing down and feeling the sad and sorrowful feeling of what his followers then must have felt. I should feel that same way today as well.

It was hard.

Hard for me to find silence. Or honestly to sit in silence. I am always busy and on the go. Running errands, getting groceries, picking up projects to complete. Saturday’s are busy for me in the sense so that on Sunday I can rest. So usually I spend my Saturday’s running around

With the current world state or pandemic we are facing being at home is one way to force you into silence. But I tried to change that mindset and look at it as an opportunity or a chance for God to slow me down.

Today I really did try to focus on slowing down and finding that. I’m not sure I succeeded.

But my walk that I went on today, I walked an extra mile more than I usually do. I listened to his word. I prayed. I focused on God.

Although I did not find complete silence today. I did try to find God more than I usually do on Easter Saturday. I hope you all found time to do that today as well.

This time we are all living in might be new, might be a challenge and hard to understand. But this time thousands and thousands of years ago Jesus’s friends all were experiencing this same feeling.

Tonight, let what your feeling exist. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Journal about it. Think about it deeply. Take it all in.

And pray. Pray to God to help you through this. Pray to God and thank him for giving us his only son. Thank him for giving us the greatest miracle to date.

Be grateful.

Be thankful.

And know that when tomorrow comes. When we wake up. God is going to show us a miracle. We may not know exactly what that miracle is. But he is going to provide.



Even though Advent ended over 3 weeks ago, and Lent is going to start in a couple weeks. I still wanted to share how my Advent went.

If you’re not familiar with the term “advent” don’t worry. Advent is pretty much the month of December. It is a part of the liturgical year, for many Christians it is meant to be a time for expected waiting and preparing for the arrival of baby Jesus.

Advent and Lent are two of the main seasons in the church. One leads up to the birth of Jesus (Christmas) and one leads up to the death of Jesus (Easter). The times or seasons in between these main events are called ordinary time. Are you still tracking with me? It can be a lot.

Advent and Lent are both important seasons obviously for two separate reasons, but both are a time for reflecting and preparing. Advent is also important because it begins the beginning of a new liturgical year.

So now that I gave you slight, shorten version to the liturgical year. Sorry about that- Let’s dive into this Advent.

Advent, 2019- was exceptional. The amount of growth I felt with the Lord was outstanding. I grew up in the Catholic Church, went to Sunday mass every week and attended weekly Wednesday classes too. God’s presence in my life has always been there.

However once you move out of your parents house and you are the one getting yourself to church every week, it’s a completely different devotion to the Lord. It is now YOUR commitment not just “a ride along, because it’s convenient” and your family is already going. It’s actually up to you, to get to church every week.

At the end of November I was watching Brighton Keller IG stories, (she also has a blog- BrightonTheDay) and she mentioned reading the book of Luke this Advent season. One chapter of Luke everyday til Christmas. So December 25 is Christmas, that means 24 days til Christmas, hence the idea of the “Advent calendar.” Throwing that out there. But turns out Luke has 24 chapters.

I do read the Bible, but I’m not exactly fully devoted as I should be, with the Bible. I don’t know all the books of the Bible or by that means how many chapters are in each book. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, I’ve read some chapters, even books of the Bible. Not all the way through or anything like that but here and there. When I would come across a verse, I would usually read the chapter it was in, just to get context of the verse itself. Does the verse have more meaning that is initially missed by just reading the one verse? Reading the whole chapter always gives me more understanding.

When I came across the idea to read the whole book of Luke, I loved the idea. Reading God’s word daily as we lead up to the arrival of his son’s birth, Jesus.

I was all in.

Also the idea of actually starting and finishing one whole book in the Bible has always seemed so long and extensive but a chapter a day seemed do-able.

So I began. I wasn’t expecting a huge movement in my life, or anything life changing. But I wanted to pull closer to the Lord during this Advent season and I felt this was a great start to doing that.

However reading a chapter a day, really did give me a big push. To do more, be more present, actually spend the time with God daily and things changed.

You don’t see the change daily just like when your losing weight. You don’t see the small things happening but then a month down the road, boom. You see it.

Reading Luke opened my eyes to things I already knew about the Bible but at the same time I really didn’t. Or maybe I had just skimmed over it and didn’t take the time to actually acknowledge the meaning.

Mostly what I got out of reading Luke was that in the Book of Luke “your faith has saved you” was said a ton of times. Maybe not a “ton” like four times. Haha regardless……Each time, it stood out to me, I would stop and be like there it is again.

The word faith is said 12 times in Luke. The phrase “… your faith has saved you,” in different ways -was said four times. He said your faith has healed you, or your faith has made you well. That’s not that many, but in all of Jesus healings he left each person saying just that.

“Your faith has saved you.”

The season of change I am currently experiencing in my life, is tough. It’s a transition I’ve been wanting and waiting for something but always feels like it’s never coming.

I think God pushed me to read the book of Luke. To see these words said over and over again.

And to remind me that, it is my faith that will do just that. Save me. God is here to guide me through if I allow him to.

God was telling me I need to lean on him, put him first and my faith will provide. It will save me.

Advent finally came to a close January 5th, just after the new year. As the Baptism of Jesus is two weeks from his birth or Christmas.

And I feel renewed. I feel like I have fresh start.

But mostly I am reminded that with God, every new day is a fresh start. A new week, a new month, or a new year. It doesn’t matter because with God you have a clean slate every single day.

Everyday he wakes up and loves you and loves me. He wants you to seek him always and that- that is why I am so thankful for coming across reading the Book of Luke.

Because it gave me a reminder, when I needed it the most, that it truly is “my faith that has saved me”

Thanks for reading- stay tuned for more. January 9th I started reading a couple chapters of the Bible a day. Following along with the “Bible Recap” on podcasts or Spotify and on the BIBLE App, there is a plan called the Bible Recap by Tara Leigh Cobble.

It’s super easy to follow along- and it keeps pulling me closer to God every day.

I’ll update you all with how it’s going after a few more months! 🙂


For the LOVE of your Soul.

With “Mental Health Awareness month” coming to a close I want to reflect with you all. 

First let’s start with those struggling.

We are all struggling, some more than others. Some don’t even realize they are struggling because they have been living with “this mess” for far to long. Others, you may continue to wake up every morning and sit in your sorrow or whatever the case is, you know where you are in your journey and you know where you would like to be. Do not let this stop you from waking up every morning. Do not let this stop you from doing the best YOU can. 

Do not let the struggle defeat you. You are strong, and you are capable. 

Do not let others tell you what is normal and what is not.

There is “a standard” but by all means you do not have to measure to that.

None of us were created the same. In God’s vision in his eyes we are all unique which means everyone’s mental health is different, should be different, and will be different.

I can not compare my health, to my brothers, or my sister; because we are not the same -regardless if we all grew up in the same household. You are different, your health should be treated different.

You may think you need therapy, others may not. OR others may think you need therapy, and you may not. See that’s the beauty, it is your life, you get to choose what is best for you, what is best for your mental health. Some of you, your therapy is the gym, or doing a hobby. While others of you going to therapy is therapy. I want to congratulation all of you though for realizing what helps you be strong mentally. But I also want to keep pushing you to grow and realize what is Not good for you mentally. Grow, Learn, and explore- keep fighting to complete your journey.

Do not compare where you are, to where someone else is. 

I want you all to allow yourself to realize where you are right now, in your mental health, or in your life. You are doing the best you can with what you have. Which is amazing, you are doing great. Regardless if you feel that you are not, you are! If you ask others in your life how they are doing, they may admire where you are- or how you are taking on your life situations. Meanwhile you may be admiring others. But please realize that your journey is just that, YOURS. 

“Which is amazing, you are doing great. “

Keep fighting

Fight the fight. Wake up everyday, breathe, say a prayer and thank God for allowing this day to be a gift. Later in the day, it may seem as if this day is no longer a gift, BUT realize God does not give battles to those who cannot fight them.

So for the Love of your Soul…..

Connect with your inner self. Find love for yourself. Wake up every morning and smile, even if that is a small victory. Find people in your life that help strengthen you and show you love all the time no matter where you are in your journey. Start a routine, find a new hobby, learn to love aspects of you’re life you never have.

Find peace while conquering your chaos, because after all it is YOURS. 

And for all of you who cannot, I realize it is much deeper than you can handle. It may not be in the grip of your hands. I ask you to pray. Pray that God guides you in the dark until you see the light. For he is the one who can help save you.

Here are a few of my favorite scriptures to help guide you.

Thanks for reading!

You all made it through May. You made it through the school year. Keep pushing, you’re doing amazing. I love you all.